Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Seriously, Everything Hates Us

(POV: Elekid)


There are way too many tunnels in this system of tunnels.  I think we should start marking our trail so we don't get lost....also, in case we have to run away from something, we can find our way back--

Something's coming! Damn! We haven't marked our trail yet in case we have to run away from something! Stand your ground, boys...

...and Eevee.


What...what is this? What is this thing? Is it angry?


Yeah, it's angry.  Kill it! Kill it with everything! Kicking! Punching! Cracking deep fissures in the earth--


Seriously dude...


Dodge the fissure! Dodge the fissure!

Oh, the Dunsparce got knocked out? Who took it out?


Well...it's about friggin' time!

Right, we don't want to have to deal with this guy later on, so let's just kick him in the crack and move on.

This room seems promising, but what are we going to do about that?


It looks like this boulder can be moved, but none of us have the strength to do it--


Hey...do me a favor? Crack it apart.  We can't move the boulder, but we can move pebbles.

Jeez, this thing is thick! Shieldon's barely making a dent!


No, we're not letting you light the rock on fire! What would that do?

No, I'm not Ice Punching the rock either, because that won't do anything--!

Wait...you mean heat it up, then freeze it so that the sudden change in temperature causes it to become brittle? I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but...

Litwick, light it on fire.


I hope this doesn't attract too much attention--


This attracted too much attention.  He does not look happy at all! Listen guy, we're just in here because we were told to--

You know what? This never works for me.  Here, look at this:


Look at the pretty Eevee! Eevee says we aren't here to take your territory or whatnot.  Believe in the pretty Eevee! Believe...in...


...we're gonna fight, aren't we?


KECH! MY EYES! THERE IS BILLIONS OF SAND IN MY FACE AND LUNGS!

You look heavy and susceptible to a kick in the ribs...KIAI, BITCH!

Woah...I think...I think I broke it? I don't...I can't be sure...

Screw it, put him in the fissure.


Now, it's just a matter of turning this corner and throwing him into the--


...

...

...you're not the fissure.

But hey, before you do anything crazy, just hear me out:


You see, uh...my buddy and I were, uh...

Oh, fuck this.


WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE IN HERE!!!!!

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