Saturday, May 30, 2015

Bro-ing Around With Jirachi


TOM:   Elekid! You're an Electabuzz!


ELECTABUZZ:   Buuuuuurrrrrrrwrbwrbwrbwrbwrbwrbwrbwrbwrb!


TOM:   What, umm...what was that, buddy?


ELECTABUZZ:   I...don't...know.


JIRACHI:  I can feel his presence...his strength--I must leave this room.  Please, take me from here.


ARTURO:   Everybody back off! I so call carrying Jirachi!


JIRACHI:   How did you manage to get past the barrier?


KEVIN:   Dark-types could pass through the barrier, so we had Jess's Pokemon create a breach.

TOM:   Let's get him to the next room!


JIRACHI:   Alright...I cannot feel him as strongly out here.  My bedchamber is sometimes...hard to handle.  My guardians must have put that barrier around my room without my knowledge.


KEVIN:   This may not have been put here to keep you from harm.  It could have been to keep you from escaping--also, I just wanted to let you know...that talking to you like this is really weird.


JIRACHI:   Mewtwo is like a child, with only a sliver of understanding as to what the world is.  I have no idea what he could be doing or planning.

Oh god, that's right.  We have been operating under the assumption that this was the work of some evil team...but now that we know this is all the doing of a single Pokemon, how can we even begin to think of possible motivations for--


Hey...there's that Great Ball that Sylvester--that that fucking fox left on the ground.  It should still have the sword-guy in there...so...I guess I'll just send him to my PC.  I mean, it was my Great Ball, and unless Sylvester has any objections--

WHERE DID THEY GO?! GUYS, THE BODIES DISAPPEARED--!

Except for the dead one.  Dead one's still dead.


ARTURO:   Jirachi, do you have some kind of plan? Like, what are we supposed to do now?


JIRACHI:   Mew is...looking for things.   Interesting.  Humans...tell me what has happened.

(And so, Arturo explained all of the things that have happened.  There were a great many things that happened.  I'm not reiterating them here because that's the point of a fucking blog, but I'll throw up some pictures.  Look at all the pretty pictures!)








(We now bring you the remainder of this entry.)


JIRACHI:   While those creatures were around me, I could sense their greed...they wanted the bedchamber.  It is a funnel for psychic energy.  If Mewtwo was trying to attack me...and if he were to get a hold of this room--


JIRACHI:   You have been my protectors.  I am not omniscient, but if I am to fulfill my reputation...what is your wish?


ARTURO:   The trainers on the S.S. Anne...are they alright? Are they alive?


JIRACHI:   ...they are alive, but I feel that perhaps that Beldum there may know more than I do about the matter.  It is a tether...a leash...and who holds the other end?


TOM:   Are you still carrying that thing around?!


ARTURO:   I don't understand what you mean.


JIRACHI:   I am surprised you have not noticed.  That Beldum...it isn't there.


ARTURO:   Of course it's here! Look, I'm touching it!


JIRACHI:   Arturo...it is not real.


TOM:   Uh, Arturo? I got my Pokedex out...it's not reading anything.  That thing's not real.


ARTURO:   No, it has to be real!


KEVIN:   Maybe it's some kind of astral projection? If we follow it, we may find the trainers--


ARTURO:   Jirachi, my brother was on that boat.  This is the only reason why I'm out here in the first place.  We need to find them!


JIRACHI:   I am not sure what use I can be...but I am willing to come with you.


ARTURO:   Woah...Jirachi, that is...like, a major thing--


KEVIN:   What do you mean "come with us"?


ARTURO:   Yeah, we're gonna need to set up some serious ground rules because if you're just gonna chill out with us, we're going to have massive targets on our backs.  I mean, do you know of anyone else who could help us?


JIRACHI:   Outside of this room, I have no world-spanning knowledge that you would not have...but while inside, I am at exposed to the pressure and the pain.  Mewtwo's mind may be stronger than that of Arceus...but I did feel a brief connection to an exceedingly powerful mind.  It must be Mewtwo.  he must have sent them.  This room is a psychic beacon...and I must leave this place.


ARTURO:   I've got my Escape Rope.


JESS:   Me too.


KEVIN:   My Pokemon have been digging at key structural points around this room for the past few minutes; we're prepared to bring this room down.


TOM:   Dude...what do you do?


KEVIN:   I'm just excited that we've been able to use our career expertise in order to counter this Pokemon-driven conspiracy.


TOM:   Well, let's just see how useful I turn out to be in Mastam.  I'm not even sure why I still have this jumpsuit.


KEVIN:   I've only ever dabbled in electrical engineering, but you've made a life's career out of it.  I'll be excited to see what you can do.


JESS:   Alright, let's go!


JIRACHI:   Thank you for removing me from that place.  Allow me...


ARTURO:   Nooooooo! All of the history--!


TOM:   Shit! I left a Great Ball in there!


JIRACHI:   If we can locate Mew, perhaps we can get some answers.  I can come with you, if only to advise.


ARTURO:   Thanks, Jirachi.  Let's head back to Kahu and--


TOM:   Whoa! Hold the fucking phone! When did we decide to go back to Kahu?!


ARTURO:   Kevin and I have some business to take care of back--


TOM:   Mastam is in crisis-mode, dude! Pokemon Centers all over the region are running on back-up generators right now!


KEVIN:   As much as I hate to backtrack, there are things we need to take care of.  Perhaps we should split up for now.


ARTURO:   And hey, I'm the one Jirachi is bro-ing around with, so--


TOM:   I don't give a flying fuck if you are "bro-ing around" with Jirachi! Maybe you should ask Jirachi where we should be focusing our attentions!


JIRACHI:   What is happening in Mastam?


TOM;   So far, in every city we've encountered, the gym leader has been attacked by these Dark-types; Tera was cocooned in her own Combee hive, Prodiga was walled off in her gym castle to protect herself against the riots, and Tyre was knocked into a spectral coma and his house was set on fire.  Now, the Cythos Power Plant, run by the Mastam Gym leader, is failing to supply power to the region...which HAS to mean they've struck Mastam already!


JIRACHI:   Mastam...that sounds like the next place on Mewtwo's agenda.


TOM:   Oh! Even Jirachi thinks Mastam is the next destination!


ARTURO:   Well, he's with me, I'm the one carrying him, so we're both going to Kahu!


TOM:   HE CAN FLOAT ON HIS OWN! HE CAN GO WHEREVER THE HELL HE WANTS TO GO! HE'S A LEGENDARY POKEMON, NOT AN INFANT!


KEVIN:   Alright, you guys keep bickering.  I'm going to Kahu.


ARTURO:   Yeah, good luck, nerds.


TOM:   You're not gonna be able to storm off away from us!


TOM:   There was one path through the Bellowing Dunes!


TOM:   I AM LITERALLY WALKING NEXT TO YOU!


Oh...it looks like Sylvester's car was just a giant rock.  Awesome.  Also, can we just agree that we are not going to trust anyone new who wants to tag along with us? Can we do that at least? They might be one of those things.


JIRACHI:   How will you tell if someone is a Zoroark?


JESS:   They turn back if they get attacked, right?


JIRACHI:   ...are you planning on getting through the region by punching everyone you meet?


TOM:   Look, we've spotted them before.  We'll just look for long hair and trench coats, or if I'm wearing the Silph Scope, I guess--


TOM:   We can spot them with the Silph Scope! It sees through their disguise! That's why I saw something different than what you took a picture of outside of Tyre's place!


KEVIN:   Sounds like a plan.  Arturo and I will be in Kahu; we'll meet up with you guys in Mastam.


TOM:   Yeah, fine.


...I guess we need a new fearless leader now, huh?

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