That jerk sure is cycling over here as quickly as he can--
KECH! And he short-stops right in front of me. Awesome...
TOM: Douche-bag used Sand-Attack...not very effective.
DOUCHE: But you still haven't done anything about it yet.
TOM: Just watch.
Gliscor, go!
Throw down or go home, punk.
A Koffing? Okay, digging won't work on this thing unless we can drag it down. Gliscor, grab onto it and pull it down to the ground!
Damn, all that smoke coming from the Koffing is obscuring Gliscor's vision--oh no, Gliscor isn't looking too good at all. Is it poisoned?
Try again! Fight through it, girl!
Gah, all that smog billowing out keeps Gliscor from staying close for too long. We need a new plan. Gliscor, use Knock Off!
BAM! Solid backhand, girl! Watch out, though, he's coming back!
Alright, shake that tackle off and keep beating it away with Knock Off!
Crud, wherever we hit this thing, it keeps bouncing back and slamming into Gliscor. Come on, girl! Try to cut through him!
Hey, it's leaking! You cut it deep, girl! Keep at it!
It's losing altitude...it's losing consciousness! Huzzah! You got another Pokemon, douche?
Another Koffing. Okay. Well, Gliscor, I don't want you straining yourself through the poison. Come on back.
Go, Pidgey!
TOM: Hey, Pidgey. You see that ball?
PIDGEY: I see that ball.
TOM: You hate that ball?
PIDGEY: I hate that ball.
TOM: You wanna hurt the ball?
PIDGEY: I wanna hurt the ball.
TOM: Go get that ball. Frustration.
PIDGEY: You're fuckin' DEAD!
Yeah, pound on that son of a bitch...watch out for the bounce-back--
He clipped your wing with that tackle. You gonna take that, bird? Fuck 'em up!
Alright! Dribble that Koffing like a basketball! I'm surprised it hasn't started shooting out--
Smoke! Pidgey, get out of there! Gust that shit away! It might be poisonous!
Hey...where did the Koffing go--?
Pidgey, behind you!
TOM: Are you alright?
PIDGEY: I hate that ball.
TOM: You hate that ball?
PIDGEY: I hate that ball!
TOM: You hate that ball?!
PIDGEY: I'm gonna eat its goddamn children!
Woah ho, Pidgey! That's what I'm talking about! The thing can barely sputter! He's done, great job.
Well, Mr. Sandy-pants...got a third Pokemon or is this over?
Alright, let's keep it going. Pidgey, take a rest. Go, Elekid!
Let's see what he's--
...a third Koffing? Dude, you don't get out much, do you?
DOUCHE: Koffing's a good Pokemon!
Elekid, use Thunder Wave. Keep this thing on a leash.
Shoot, more smoke--and Elekid is not having a good time with it. Damn, it looks like he's poisoned, too! Alright, enough small-talk. Shock Wave this motherfucker.
It's losing altitude. Get over there and Ice Punch it into the ground.
BOOM! That's what I'm talking about! What, it's not done yet? Well, I'll be sure to--
Did...did this guy's previously-unnoticed collection of biker friends suddenly surround us to watch the fight? In that case...Elekid, send them a message about who not to mess with.
TOM: So...you got a fourth Koffing?
DOUCHE: No...but my friends do. Get him!
Wait, what?!
OH SHIT! Elekid, return! Go, Pidgey! Whirlwind these bastards away!
They're reaching for more Poke Balls?! Whirlwind again! Keep them outta here!
We're getting surrounded! Chinchou! Pinsir! Go!
Chinchou, blast everything with Bubble! Pinsir, did down and wait to strike!
Pidgey! Watch out for that little gator--! Are these guys trying to call out more Pokemon?
TOM: Call them all back or my Pinsir attacks one of you! I can't guarantee which one I'm gonna hit, but I'll make you regret ganging up four-on-one against a man who earned two badges in a single day!
PRICK: Badges don't mean nothing here, old man.
Ugh...ow! That's it. Pinsir...him.
PRICK: GYAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Anybody else wanna keep--
*VWWOOOOOOOOMPH*
Christ, what was that noise?! Chinchou? You hurt?
The Magnemite! Of course, that was a Sonicboom attack! I remember having to wear ear protectio around these suckers just in case one went off like that. With Pidgey trying his best to keep everyone at a distance, Chinchou needs more cover. Nidorino, go!
Get that Magnemite! Attack anything that gets too close to--
Absolutely not! I've been nice up until now...but you just crossed a big line, fucker!
How's this for doing something about it!
Did, uh...did I see a foot fly by my head as I clotheslined that prick...that also hit that prick?
KEVIN: The fuck is wrong with you!
Kevin! With Juanita and Nightsun! Black-up has arrived--!
Wow, okay, I know I've heard him say it before, but...uh...I'm just not gonna say that anymore--hey, the Magnemite's down!
Well, well, douche...looks like you've got no one left to back you up...and nowhere left to go. Pidgey, I think you know what to do...
Okay...sure, he careened off that cliff, down the waterfall and into a river...but he's probably not dead, right? I mean, you didn't kill him, did you Pidgey?
Don't answer that.
Okay...two unconscious, two running away, one blown off a cliff...
And one still trapped under his bike. Nidorino, go!
Double Kick! Kick the bike off and...aim for something fun with the next hit.
Good lad.
Aww, you must be the one with the Magnemite, huh? I see how your little buddy is trying to help you carry your bike as you crawl away, doubling over the pulverized mass that used to be your testicles. Here, we can help, too. Pinsir...give him a little toss to get him going.
Again with the waterfall. Guys...this is...this is not good. We could be--fuck it. Let's see if they left their wallets.
Great, some did! And they have their I.D.s in them! We can report them to the League, Kevin! And, uh...since they all technically lost a Pokemon battle and never paid the appropriate prize money...
Cha-ching. Pidgey, come to me!
You really enjoyed that fight, didn't you? You're a pretty sick bird...but you're tough as nails, I'll give you that. Actually, you don't look so good. You feeling okay?
Oh my God, it evolved through hate and violence.
KEVIN: Got yourself into trouble, huh?
TOM: Don't we always? This is probably a sign that we should take it easy for a bit.
KEVIN: Well, I plan on taking on the gym soon. By the way, where'd you get that Nidorino?
TOM: Oh...I caught that Nidoran earlier on Route 4 and it evolved when it fought those Houndour.
KEVIN: Nice.
TOM: Say, if you ever want to hunt some new Pokemon, let me know...but I'm gonna get some rest.
TYRE: Hey boys!
TYRE: The gym is officially reopened for business!
Tomorrow...definitely tomorrow--
Oh, there goes Jess...from the gym? Man, she looks pissed. Did she just try to take on Tyre? You know what? Probably a question better asked when she calms the hell down.
Come on, Pidgeotto...let's get some shut-eye. All that gang-fighting and crazy outbursts sorta took it outta me. We'll get you all healed up and we'll see what tomorrow has in store for us.
And Erik...I don't know where you are or if you can hear me...but you stay out of my head. Let's go, bird.
