There Are Stair Spikes In My Ribs

Huh...it's funny, you know? All those bikers whizzing around on this path before are really giving us a wide berth.  I wonder why that is--

Oh...because Kevin threatened to punch one in the mouth...and I was with him when he did that...and now they fear me.

Good.

Well...there she is again.  At least now we'll know what we're dealing with now that we have the Silph Scope--

Fuck.  Me.  We are going to goddamned die in this house--

I mean, err...we should just go through the house, room by room...especially the upstairs...and just clear everything out with battling...because that's what we do?

Alright, Joltik, keep the electricity flowing through that scope.  Everybody else...watch my ass.

Actually seeing the number of ghosts whirling around this house in a miasma of haunting death actually makes me seriously doubt my choice of Pokemon.  I mean, I have complete faith in their ability to kick some ass...but I really wish I had Gliscor or Elekid with me.  You know...just in case--

You'll scream if you see a ghost, Jess? Girl, if you were seeing what I'm seeing, you'd shit your pants.

Okay...we need to get up those stairs somehow.  It's gotta be a four foot height difference between the floor and the part of the stairs we can actually stand on, then there's the giant hole in the floor--

Or just jump.  Why the fuck not, Jess? We're only storming a house full to the brim with specters...let's not be careful or anything--

Well, at least you made it.  Now...how do you suppose I get up there--?

JESS...THERE IS ONE RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

Hang on! I'm coming up there! Here, catch!

Jesus, careful with that! Granted, it wasn't a great throw to begin with, but don't drop it--!

Joltik! I forgot you were in the Silph Scope! I'm so sorry! I won't throw you like that again, I promise!

Now, I'm gonna try to make the jump...get ready...

HYAH!

OOW...my ribs...

Okay...now to just...pull myself up...

Just...gotta..put...a little...oomph...in it...

Just...a little...bit...of--

Jess, will you please help me before I careen into a pit full of lumber spikes?! Pokemon! Assist me--

You are all tiny, tiny creatures and cannot help me here.  Shit.

Pinsir, Lapras, Gliscor, even Houndour would have been able to help me out here.  But nope...had to go with this team--

JESS, PLEASE PULL HARDER PLEASE CHRIST PLEASE--!

OWW! Something bit my ass--

Pidgey! Not helping! Good intentions...maybe...but not helping--!

Emolga, what's wrong? There's commotion up there? Jess...now would be a good time to start pulling--

I'M TRYING AS HARD AS I CAN THERE ARE STAIR SPIKES IN MY RIBS--!

Gah! Okay...we're up.  Everyone else, I'm just gonna recall you into your Poke Balls then release you back up here.

Oh God, the upstairs is even worse than the downstairs.  I hate this...and I have the feeling that I'm being watched...

Have I mentioned that I hate it here? Because I hate it here--

Is there...something...behind...me...?

Emolga...Pursuit.  Pursuit NOW!

Damn, you missed it! Quickly, follow it down that way!

They've gone...vanished.  This is gonna be a lot harder than I thought...

Unless...

They keep appearing...

...behind me!

GAH! Jesus! Hoo, you scared the hell out of me, Kevin! Don't do that...

Remind me, by the way, if we ever come back here...we need to bring a ladder.  Those stairs are--

How did you get up the stairs--you know what? Never mind that.  Let's just pick a direction and sweep the floor.

We've already started going this way...so let's keep it moving.  Jess, if you want to try the other way, go right ahead.  Let's just stay in contact in case of an emergency.

This room looks like a good start...let's start up the scope.

Everything is horrifying...and there's a weird dark spot over there.  Kevin, get your Skarmory and your Meditite ready...things might go sour.  Slakoth, Yawn at the spot!

I...can't tell if that did anything.  Emolga, try using Pursuit on it.

I...can't tell if that did anything either.  Shoot.  Kevin, you want to sweep this room for me? I'm pretty sure it's empty, but I can't really tell.  There's a big dark spot right over there and I have no idea what it is.

Swift should do the trick.  Good call.

Yeah...I dunno if that--

Oh...I know what's gonna happen now.  I'll just...put Bagon away...and walk to the next room--

Quickly.  Walk to the next room very quickly.

This place is the worst place of all of the things...but there's no distortion here.  It might be that the dark spot in the other room is an isolated incident.  Maybe it's some kind of portal--what's that on the desk?

Hey, this is a TM! TM #94...but the name of the move is smudged off.  All I can make out is "ash".  Maybe it's a Fire-type move? Who knows--

Ooh, and a piece of candy.  It doesn't look dirty at all, and it's still pretty sealed.  Maybe if I get out of here alive, this will be a nice little treat.

Hey Kevin, this room here is pretty clear, too.  After you're done there, let's sweep this one too.  I'm gonna try this next room over here across the hall.

This room seems to be in the exact center of the spirit vortex, so maybe we'll find something--

Oh fuck.

Please...Don't...Explode

Thank God we made it back without any further obstructions.  Nurse Joy!

This isn't exactly a happy time, Nurse.  We have Tyre's apprentices here and they're all comatose.

We suspect it's the result of Ghost-type Pokemon in the house.  We don't know how many or where they are, but we believe they're upstairs and pretty pissed about something.

Oh...and while you're at it, our Pokemon are pretty worse for wear.  Thank you.

Okay...so if we're up against Ghost-type Pokemon, I'm going to need Pokemon who are Normal-types or Pokemon that know Dark-type moves to gain the advantage.  Elekid is strong, but if the only way into the Ombos Desert is by beating Tyre in his gym, I need to strengthen the Pokemon who could help me gain that victory.

This team could work.  Pidgey and Slakoth are good Normal-types to use as defensive powers, while Bagon and Emolga have good Dark-type attacks to inflict damage to the ghosts.  Joltik may prove very useful, especially since we needed Kevin's to help evacuate the house in the first place, and if I need a wild-card, Snorlax knows Metronome.  And now, the final weapon against the ghosts...

The Silph Scope! Now, if we can just--

You...can't find anything wrong with the apprentices from the Kahu Gym? How is that possible? They're catatonic.  That can't be natural.

Jess, I don't know how much your Umbreon is going to be able to figure out about these guys if Nurse Joy can't find anything--

Well, a Psychic-type would be a better investigatory option.  Kevin, you've got one, don't you? Chang?

Wait...you're telling me that he's not detecting brain activity? Like...as in they're dead? Are they dead? They're breathing, though.  Why isn't medical knowledge helping in the slightest here?! Why do people even study medicine anymore?!

Okay, well, we could try to remove the ghostly presence in that house and maybe that will do something, because chances are, this is exactly what happened to the gym leader.  We have no idea what we're up against really, but we do have a Silph Scope, so if I use some of the tech components Kevin gave me, maybe we can do something along the lines of a repair job and get this thing working again.

We first need to cram everything back into the right places...there we go.

Now, all we have to do is replace some of the damaged components.  Some of the wires will need replacement, but my Joltik should be able to provide conductive webbing to do the job, at least on a temporary basis.  But for a power source...I don't know what I could use that will fit in that tiny space--

Well now...if that isn't a novel idea! Joltik, hop in there and gently pulse a few Thunder Waves.  Now, we just need to put this thing on my head and hope it does not explode.

Please...don't...explode.

Hey, I think it's working--!

Put it on Elekid? I don't think that's a good idea.  Firstly, Elekid isn't best suited for this mission because he doesn't have any sort of distinct advantage over Ghost-types.  But secondly, if I were to put this on a Pokemon that I intended to send into battle, we could potentially damage our greatest technological asset in this mission...so I think it's best if it stays on a human.  It's meant for a human head, after all, and if it goes awry, I'd feel better if it was on my head when it happened.  I'll keep in communication about the location of the ghosts, but we just need to keep talking to each other when we're in there--

And Kevin's gone.  Fantastic--

Jess, what are you doing with your Houndour? Did...did it just bite you?! Oh-okay, if you need to...take it outside for a minute...then I suppose you should go do that.

I...I caught one of those things.  If Jess caught a more submissive one, and I just caught a random one...oh boy--

Hey, a note.

I'm going to assume that Kevin left this note--

Along with a fat stack of money?! Jesus, Kevin! What are you doing?!

Kevin, where are you? Is this your money--?

You got bored and went into the house.  Fantastic.  I'm keeping this money, by the way.  Where did Erik leave stuff for us--?

Our communal PC box? Alright let me check.

Now, let's just see--

Jess...what the hell did you do to your Houndour? He's certainly calmer...but what did you--?

I may need your help with mine eventually, but right now, let's just check the computer.

Hey, there's an email in here for me from Erik--

Yes, the Erik you punched in the face.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Hey guys, I have not heard back from you since I let you know about impending disaster in Isis. I hope you all survived that mess. I still have not had a chance to find out exactly what happened. I only have a general idea.  I'm still in Chloris and Jizo, my leg is still healing up from the battle in the beehive. I've been helping out in Jizo mostly. There was a rogue Scrafty stealing supplies and valuables from the town. Me and Josh think due to that it was a trainer's pokemon. If you'll see it you'll know it. It will go straight for your valuables and it wears a knit cap.It managed to blow up the hotel in Jizo somehow. Luckily no one was inside it. I got caught in the blast though but have come out of it relatively unscathed. 

Since then I've mostly been helping out, I had my Geodude Prometheus help clear out the rubble. I even managed to find shelter for the refugees at the trainer house. I'm even holding a memorial service tonight for them. It feels good to help even though I'm injured.

I finally beat Tara in the gym. How many badges do you guys have? Speaking of pokemon training, I had a surplus so I put twenty potions in the item box we own together, take however many you all need. The pokeball is for Jess, I made some standard cosmetic changes, it's for Roses specifically, I attempted to make the return beam work at longer ranges. This is an experiment mind you but it SHOULD work well. Let me know how it works okay?

Hope all is well, 

Brother Erik J Barker.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

He left us 20 potions? Where the hell did he get 20 potions from? There's also a Pokeball for you, Jess...for Roses.  Erik said he increased the return-beam length on it for you...so there's that.

I'm gonna send an email back to him--no, I don't think Erik is up to something.  If anything, he sounds on the up-and-up.  Yes, he's dealing with Josh, but he may not know how much of a sneaky bastard Josh really is, so it might be that Erik is completely unaware of that guy's true nature.  It may be that he sent something to you as well, so you should check your email--

Arturo, you're going to sit this one out? Why--?

Your...your Munchlax exploded?! How--?

Metronome.  Of course--THAT HUGE CRATER IN THE HOUSE WAS FROM HIM!?! Good God! No, by all means, hold vigil here until he gets out of the I.C.U.  I think we should be able to handle ourselves in that house--

Erik called us "good people" in his email to you, Jess? See? It's not him we have to worry about...it's just Josh.  Now, I gotta write my email before we head out.  Get your stuff ready--

Oh, how are you still  upset about the PokeLure?! Come on, are you really going to do this now?! Just get it out of your system, I have an email to write.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Hi Erik,

Really sorry that we lost touch with so much going on.  Got a little spooked when you sent out that Litwick against Josh.  I'm not particularly comfortable around Ghosts, which is just great since that's what we seem to be dealing with in Kahu.  If you have any dealings with Ghosts, your assistance would be tremendously helpful.  Long story short, we've got multiple catatonics.

I would have emailed earlier, but it's been madness recently.  Riots in Isis, multiple head-wounds, just terrible things.  I did manage to take a look at some busted Great Balls to see if I can repair them...not exactly within my purview, but I DID manage to work out the kinks in the Pokedex vocals.  I can fix that stuff on yours if you haven't found a way already.

Congrats on your FertileBadge! Bring an Ice-type or a Dragon-type if you want to challenge Prodiga in Isis.  Look out for the "sandstorm" and don't underestimate her Bagon...it put Elekid in the ICU.  There are some Bagon up in the Citadel Mountains if you want to take a trip up there with Hitch.  It couldn't hurt to have a dragon.  If you need money to hire Hitch for the trip, let me know and I can float you some cash.  

Good luck with your service and if you can find a way to get to Mastam, I'll be there for a while, I reckon (lots of things for an electro-enthuist like me); looking forward to talking with you again.

Tom

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Alright, Jess...who are you bringing into the house?

Okay then, that sounds good to me--

You sent an email to your father about me? About getting me an Eevee somehow? Well, thank you very much--

Uh...a Jolteon, I suppose.  I mean, I really only know of the three from Bill, Umbreon, and Leafeon, so I can't make an entirely "educated" decision, but a Jolteon would be my goal--

A bargain? Yeah, I wouldn't expect one for free, but I'll take a discount.  I'm not looking for anything crazy...but we should discuss this later...

...we have ghosts to bust.