Thursday, January 23, 2014

This MY House!

(POV: Pidgey)


I am...fucking...seething.


Fat-ass! I'm trapped! Move your motherfucking leg or so help me I will burrow under your skin and use you as a fucking house! 


Ah, well, it's about fucking time! You collapsed the entire bed AND sent us crashing through the floor and--

Why the fuck are you vibrating?


SWEET TITS ON FUCK! WHAT DID YOU--?!


YOU FLEW THROUGH THE FUCKING CEILING! FIRST THE FLOOR, THEN THE CEILING--!

Fuck a dick, he's gonna have to come down, isn't he?


Shit shit shit shit--SHIT!


Good fucking grief! What in the fuck did you do?! Did that come out of your ass, you nasty fucking--?!


Oh, I fuckin' see how it is, cheap-shottin'-ass bitch--!


A String Shot?


Way to join the party, fuzzball.  Didn't even realize your ass was in that helmet--

--the fuck is a gzzbzz?


You ain't going anywhere now, motherfucker! You ain't learn from that ass-whoopin' you got upstairs, huh?


You gon' learn today.  You gon' learn to-DAY!


Now you done learned.  Now you KNOW! Now you--!


Oh...


Oh, what? You runnin' now? YOU RUNNIN' NOW?! That's right! Get the fuck out this house! This is my house now, bitch! MY house!


...this my house.


What in the--Tom, you ain't catchin' this motherfucker! You catch this thing, I'll fucking kill ya.


Yeah, you missed, and you're gonna let his bitch-ass run, Tom! That's right, I said it.  I called that shit, too.


Cuz this MY house!

Now then...what in the fuck is going on?

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Gzzbzz! Nooo!


...

...

...alright, let's fuck 'em up!


Okay, now Jess's Murkrow used Thunder Wave on the Gengar.  If I'm keeping track, we've actually hit this thing with Thunder Wave three times.  If it isn't paralyzed by now, I am going to be rather upset--


It's separated itself from the Clefable! Now we can attack them while they're divided!


Good thinking, Jess! If your Umbreon flanks the Gengar, we'll--


And Soot fell asleep.  I'm guessing this Gengar knows Hypnosis.  Well, I doubt the Clefable knows that, too!


Pidgey! Skarmory is kicking up all the ash in the room and blasting that Clefable with Sand Attack; while it's distracted, use your Gust attack to augment Sneasel's Icy Wind attack on the Gengar! I have a feeling that the Gengar is influencing the Clefable and if we can knock it out, we can kill two birds with one--


...sorry.


That's it, Kevin! Press the attacks with your Corphish and your Joltik!


...while your Meditite just...sits there...meditating.


JOLTIK:  Yes, brother! Attack the specter! I shall remain here and power my master's machine--


JOLTIK:  ...Gzzbzz?


JOLTIK:   GZZBZZ! NOOO! *Screech*


Gengar is clutching it's ears in pain! Great thinking, little Joltik! I almost forgot you were in that Silph Scope!


JOLTIK:   Gzzbzz! Why did you attack so boldly?! WHY?!?

Now, while it's trying to block out the sound: Bagon, bite down on the Gengar!


Cover me; I need to get this Recover to Emolga before it's too late--


UGH! My spine!! Wha--?!


Oh, you pink son of a bitch! I tried to be your friend--!


Kevin...you brained the damned thing with a steel candlestick.  That's...that's actually pretty effective.  Don't lose that candlestick! Now, where did that Clefable get to--?


Ah ha! So, drawing attention to yourself, eh? Bad move, Clefable!


Sneasel wasn't going to attack you, but then it diverted at the last minute and hit you right in the blind-side, Clefable!


Now Murkrow is using Thunder Wave on the Clefable!


And Skarmory just used Iron Head on the Clefable! Guys, join in on attacking the Clefable!


Wow, something seriously rocked that Skarmory, but we need to focus on that Clefable!


Follow Meditite's example! Pidgey, use Frustration on the Clefable!


Bagon, focus on the Clefable and use Leer on the Clefable!


Gah! A shadowy clef-fist just clock-fabled Bagon right on the Clefable! Clefable, Clefable the Clefable with Clefable!


JOLTIK:   Why, Gzzbzz?! WHY?!

Emolga and Bagon aren't any more clef-use in this battle; I better call-fable them clefa-back into their clefa-balls, but since Clefable's on the clefa-bed, I can do some serious damage by releasing my secret weapon right above the bed!


Go, Clefable!


Wow, that collapsed the entire bed...and the floor.  Wow--SHIT, Pidgey was under there! Pidgey, are you alright?!


Phew, thank goodness! Sorry, I was too focused on the Clefable to notice...

Actually, we were all really focused on that Clefable.  Like, overly focused on it.  I don't even remember what else we were fighting in here besides it.  Wait...was this some sort of distracting attack to draw our attention away from--


Oh...that's right.  Gengar--


(And, of course, Tom Cedar failed the Perception check to notice the Gengar behind him, as well as the Strength check to not fall down the pit he created with his Snorlax.  But eh, I suppose that's how life goes...if you are an abject failure.  I just hope the ground is soft when I land.)