Monday, September 30, 2013

Bad Dog


We have made a serious error in judgment here, people! We are in waaaaay over our heads! We can't pull any punches now! Nidoran, Double Kick your way to that Houndoom! Chinchou, Bubble everything! And Elekid, go!


Whatever Nidoran kicks, you kick harder.  You got that? One-two punch! Go!


Jess, what is your Umbreon doing? It just looks like it's trying to talk to that bigger dog--

Is it trying to reason with him?!


That does not look like it wants to reason--!

And Umbreon just got jumped by a whole pack of Houndour.  Shit.  Okay, how's my team doing?


Nidoran is on fire.  Well, that's great.  And it looks like Kevin is kicking one of the Houndour...is that even morally acceptable for a trainer? Screw it, we can't hold back now.  It's fight or die, I suppose, and I'd much rather fight!


You're right, Arturo.  The big dog needs to be put down.  We need to focus all of our power on the Houndoom--


It's got a collar? Then that means it won't stop until that thing is knocked clean out...but it seems to be barking orders at the other dogs.  Maybe if we separate the head from the pack, we can clear the rest of them out, too! Chinchou, use Confuse Ray on the Houndoom! Elekid and Nidoran, fight your way there!


It doesn't look like it hit, Chinchou! He's too far away for us to hit him unless we get in closer.  But I wonder...


That one looks pretty injured.  I can probably kill two birds with one stone if I catch it.  Firstly, I'd finally get my hands on a Fire-type! Pokeball, go!


Nailed him!


Once...


Twice...


Three times a lady! Got him!


And secondly, it will really piss off that Houndoom into leaping into the fray!


Now's our chance! Everyone attack--!


Incoming Ember attacks! Evasive maneuvers!


Great shot from your Pokemon, guys! Team Cedar, get in there and deliver the final blow!


It's still conscious?! Well, if it's fight or die, I'm gonna fight! I'll give it a kick of my own! HEEYAAAH!!!

...

...

...missed it by that much--

Where did it go?


Oh boy...


Nice doggie! Good doggie!


GYAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! Jesus! That sent me flying back a couple feet! And I think I landed on something--


Chinchou! I'm so sorry! That bought us some time, though! The Houndoom is focused on me, so the others can--

It's focused on me...


...yelp!


What the--?


Oh...he's down? But, how--?


You hit it...in the head...with a table? Well, you're...kind of my hero now--

KEVIN:   No...bad dog.

And you've soiled it by turning it into a cheesy action-movie one-liner moment.  Awesome job, though...but shame.

And hey, all the other Houndour are fleeing now that we've taken out the leader! We did it! We survived! Let's regroup and figure out what the hell happened.


I'll just send this little doggie to the PC, and then we can do a quick check-up on our Pokemon--


Woah! Did...did your Riolu evolve from all that fighting?! Congrats, dude! That will really come in handy...but if it stopped evolving, then why is there still a glow in the room--?


Nidoran! You're a Nidorino! That's fantastic! Hey, maybe--


Nope...I guess not yet.


TOM:   Okay...now what?

JESS:   That can't be it.  There's no way that just a pack of Houndour and a Houndoom could take out a team of Fighting-type gym apprentices and make the leader go catatonic.

TOM:   (Could it have been a Psychic-type behind this? No, Dark-types are immune, so how could it have controlled them?) Chinchou, return.  We don't need you attracting more attention.

JESS:   I think I heard something from upstairs.  Roses, go check it out.


ARTURO:   We really should stop meeting like this.

KEVIN:   By the way...Tom? Good hustle out there, but that thing could have killed you.  Just be careful.

TOM:   Yeah, you don't have to tell me twice.

KEVIN:   I've only said it once...

TOM:   I know, but I've been saying that to myself over and over for the passed five minutes--

JESS:   Everyone shut up and listen!

*thump*

JESS:   There it is again! Something is upstairs.  I refuse to believe that Tyre and his trainers couldn't have handled this.  There's no way--Roses! What did you find?


JESS:   Woah...are you okay? What did you see up there?

ROSES:   Roses...roses...

JESS:   Something's not right here.  Roses isn't going after shiny things.  

TOM:   I tried to kick a Houndoom in the face.  Not-right things are here in abundance today.

(What could have obliterated highly-trained Fighting-type trainers and spooked Roses? A Flying-type wouldn't make sense because why would that have spooked the bird so much? A Psychic-type would have been a really great explanation if Roses wasn't immune to Psychic-type attacks.  I mean, she's almost catatonic, so unless she's seen a ghost or something, I--)

TOM:   Guys...has it ever occurred to any of us...that this house...might be haunted?

ARTURO:   Haunted? Nah! That stuff isnt real--

*THUMP*

ARTURO:   ...

KEVIN:   ...

JESS:   ...

TOM:   ...

???:   *giggling*

BUBBLE-KICK!!!!


Jeez, what a disaster area! It almost looks like a meteor hit this place, what with all the burning...oh, and the massive hole in the ground.  It looks like it goes to a cellar, but I can't be sure; it's way too dark to see anything--

Wait! I know the perfect Pokemon to light up that dark hole! Go, Chinchou!


What's around you, Chinchou? What's down there?


Well, it's definitely a basement.  There's a lot of rubble, but I think I can see a stairway leading--


What the hell are those things? Are those Houndour? I mean, they're unconscious, but I don't want to wake them up.  Chinchou, return--

Did anyone else hear that? Howling, shouting...it almost sounds like a battle is going on nearby--

KEVIN! Oh, shit! We gotta do something; we could go upstairs and risk having the floor collapse under us, we can't go any further on this floor without trying to leap over the hole in the ground, and we could try to explore the cellar.  I mean, I'm out of ideas at this point.  Nidoran, Meditite...you have any opinions or preferences?


You want to go down? Okay...Meditite--?


...I guess you're looking down? Okay...well, there seems to be a lot of spiky debris down there, so I'm not just jumping down there--

But shit, that means I'm gonna have to try to leap over the pit and find the staircase down.  Ugh...okay. Let's give it a shot.  Take a few steps back, a few deep breaths...

...

...

...

...I hate my life.

GO!

HEEYAAAAAAAAH--!

OOMPH!


Alright...I didn't quite make the jump, but I caught the edge of the hole so that I could lower myself down more gently, so I'm happy about that at least.  Meanwhile...


Chinchou, get back out here and Bubble everything...just to be safe.


Great.  That should keep things less deadly.  Nidoran, Chinchou...I don't know what we're going to be facing when we find that battle, but I want you to have Bubble and Double Kick ready at the drop of a hat, is that understood--?

Wait...

...

...

...did I just hear something squawk, "Roses!"? Oh, shit! It's not Kevin...it's Jess that's in the battle--!

I knew she'd go to the house!


I found the stairs, guys! Let's do this!


Holy crap, what is going on here--?!


Jess! Arturo?! What the--?!


Gah! Nice doggie...


Uh oh! Lot's of doggies!


Bubble! Double Kick! BUBBLE KICK!!!!


Wow, your Riolu really seems to be cleaning house, Arturo! And your Phanpy looks like it's gotten a lot tougher, too! Let's see if we can get in on the fun!



Keep those attacks coming boys! Pummel away--!


A Corphish? Juanita?! But how--?


Kevin! Now it's a party!

Also, on an unrelated note...

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?!?!


JESS:   I caught a Houndour!

TOM:   You found all of the Houndour ever!

JESS:   Oh, well excuse me, Mister I-Have-To-Climb-A-Dangerous-Mountain-With-Zero-Mountaineering-Experience-To-Catch-A-Bagon!

TOM:   I caught like seven other Pokemon besides that!


Great shot, Anubis! That one sent that Houndour flying through those barricaded double doors!

...

...why were those doors barricaded?

And why did the other Houndour stop attacking?

And why is it so silent?


That...that can't be good.


...

...

...we're all going to die here in this fucking house.