Dipshit

(POV: Pidgey)

Hey! Dipshit! Slow the fuck down! What's the matter with you, huh? Do you even know where the fuck you're going?! And son of bitch, we need to fucking talk about that bullshit at the hive! The fuck was that?! You just gonna fly by me and ignore me--

YOU FUCKIN' IGNORING ME NOW, ASSHOLE?! Goofy-ass, broke-ass wing, hat-head-lookin' motherfucker!

Alright, we're at the bay.  Now, look for your asshole fish friend.  Do you even know what he looks like? I'm not here to babysit your dumb ass, so don't be a fucking nimrod with--

Uh...I think I found him.  Hey, he's over here--

Hey! Blackbird! He's over--

FUCKIN' DIPSHIT! HE'S--!

Woah! What the fuck happened here?! Hey, you seein'--?

Will you stop fucking talking to that thing already?! I FOUND HIM! HE'S OVER--!

What the fuck is that?!?! Damn, that fucker's big--

Oh shit! That's where all the blood is coming from! Damn! Bitin'-ass fish and this fella must've gotten into some kinda scrap!

DIPSHIT! COME GET YOUR FISH!

LAPRAS:   Who are you calling "dipshit"?

PIDGEY:   Not you...the flying dipshit.

LAPRAS:   It's bothering me.

PIDGEY:   Yeah, sorry about that.  I'm not a big fan either.  Hey, big blue...what went down here?

LAPRAS:   You found your friend, so will you two please leave?

PIDGEY:   That fish ain't my friend.

LAPRAS:   Then why are you so interested in it?

PIDGEY:   I'm not.

LAPRAS:   You offend my sensibilities.

PIDGEY:   ...I like you.  But damn, you're pretty fucked up--oh great, the cavalry's arrived.

LAPRAS:   You're perching on my shell.

PIDGEY:   I know.  I'm fuckin' tired.