Why Can't We Be Friends?

Did anybody else just hear a tree fall down? It was really loud; I'm sure somebody--

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT DRATINI DOING TO PIDGEY! Hey, dude! That shit's not cool!

GO TEAM CEDAR! ICE PUNCH!

Now...you take a nap and you think about what you've done.  I'm going to take this unconscious Pidgey and...you know...just fucking book it out of Dodge as quickly as possible.

Jeez, this forest clearing is big.  If I don't get us to cover soon, who knows what kind of other wild Pokemon we might encounter out here--

What the hell is following us?

Hey there...why are you following us?

I'm not two sentences into my conversation with this dog and already I can tell it must be some kind of retarded.

Look, little doggie, we're trying to find our trainer.  Do you know where the nearest town is? No? Awesome.  You're very helpful--

NO! We're not fighting now! That Dratini back there wants to fight, but we don't! We're injured and--

Yes.  Go back and fight Dratini.  Go get 'em boy! GO GET 'EM!

Stupid-ass dog...

Hey...I think I see a Pokemon in that pond thing.  It's not moving.  It's unconscious! That thing could drown in there! Hang on there, buddy! Help is on the way--!

Shit...what am I gonna do with Pidgey? I can't just set him down...who knows what will happen to him.  I guess I gotta carry him, but I'll need my arms to rescue that guy in the pond.  I guess...I'll have to balance him on my head between my prongs...

...just...don't...sneeze.

Hey, this little fella's pretty buoyant! Well, that's pretty convenient.  Let's get you onto land and awake, shall we? C'mon, fella...wake up--

Oh.  Oh, you're a girl.  Sorry, I didn't mean--

I mean, with a ball that size, I'd have thought you--

WAIT A MINUTE! I KNOW YOU!

Cali, right? Yeah, I DO remember you! You and your trainer were in that cave and Arturo got hurt, so we had to take you to Herne.  What? No, I don't know where he is.  I don't know where anyone is.  I don't know where WE are.  I don't know who that dog is--

What are you doing here--?

AND WHY DID YOU BRING DRATINI WITH YOU?!?!?!?

Oh, this is not going to be pleasant at all.