Never Split The Party

ELEKID:   Pidgey, I want you to go with the Poochyena, the Azurill, and the Kangaskhan to try to find our trainers.  I'm going to go with the others.

PIDGEY:   Fucking excuse me?

ELEKID:   You have a distinct advantage with your flight.  You can see for miles up in the sky and you'll be able to find them if anyone can.

PIDGEY:   I don't want to find that dumb asshole.

ELEKID:   Well, I do.

PIDGEY:   Then you go find him!

ELEKID:   Listen to me! He went through hell and back to try to catch you, and I know you gave him hell the entire time.  But he didn't give up on you and if you found him, he would follow you through every treacherous inch of forest, up and down the mountain, past the berry trees and every fucking Pokemon that would try to kill him just to get you back! You may not care about him, but he cares about me as if I were his own son...and I'm sure he cares as much about you, too.

PIDGEY:   Are you telling me he would be willing to risk his life through all kinds of dangerous terrain and possible Pokemon attacks just to follow me?

ELEKID:   I know he would.

PIDGEY:   ...fuck it.  Okay, I'll go with them.  If anything, it'll be funny to watch him try to keep up.

ELEKID:   Whatever works for you.  Now get going.

The Best Laid Plans of Elekids...

(POV: Elekid)

So, the balloon stops the fight with a massive wave of psychic energy and explains to us all that our trainers are nearby and safe, closer to the city of Herne, but he can't get any closer to them because "the rock is closed".  Apparently, it's housing some kind of very powerful Pokemon that isn't very nice, but the fact that it's closed is...I don't know what the hell this thing was talking about.  Apparently, if the rock in the bay is closed, the Pokemon escaped or is going to escape soon, but the fact that it's closed is putting up some kind of barrier that prevents Balloon from doing anything any closer to the rock.  But apparently, it wants us to go into that grove and talk to a wise old Pokemon that could tell us more.

I have no idea what the fuck is going on, so could you just--

Oh, and it flew away.  Awesome.

Ugh...I guess...I don't even...

Hey, what is that in the grove?

Oh, a berry tree.  That might be useful.

And there's little fat guys eating them.  Must mean the berries aren't poisonous.  That's helpful.  OH! Maybe they know the way to the bay with the rock in it! Hey, little guys! Could you tell us--?

Woah! Okay! Just...chill out, guys! We don't want the berries! I guess we're not getting the berries, then.  Could you just tell us--?

NO, YOU STUPID DOG! WE DON'T WANT THE BERRIES!

Oh, fucking GREAT! Now, one is charging right at me and the dumb fucking Poochyena.  Well, good luck with that one, buddy; I'm leaving.

Okay guys...remember how the balloon was telling us to go into that grove? Yeah...angry-ass midgets in the grove.  Don't touch the berries.  Those guys love them and they hate us.

Oh, one of the Eevees got through to them? ONE OF THE EEVEES?!?! I tried to be diplomatic as hell, but that damned dog ruined the negotiation! Fine...you go ahead and find out what the hell we need to know and I'm gonna sit here and think of a way to prevent other trainers that we might come across from catching us.

Alright, I got nothing besides making collars for ourselves, but that's gonna be a difficult task to--

Oh, the Eevee's back.  What's the story?

Okay...

So, the wise old Shuckle told you that Pelipper Rock in the middle of the Bay of Goldeen was created by three very large and very shiny Pokemon with many eyes in order to imprison this other apparently evil Pokemon that wants to seriously hurt our trainers and that we have to find those Pokemon and convince them to help us defeat this imprisoned Pokemon...or something like that?

Seriously...no fucking idea what's going on, but there's two choices we have before us:

Choice One: head in this direction and try to find the three big Pokemon

Choice Two: head in that direction and try to find the trainers

Pidgey...I think we need to have a talk.

Big Happy Reunion of People Who've Never Met

Listen, Dratini: whatever happened between you and Pidgey...it's over now.  You aren't fighting him anymore.  You try it and you'll be frozen in a heartbeat--

Why are YOU crying? What--no...I did not say that your and Arturo's relationship is over.  I'm saying that the fighting is over.  Okay? Stop crying...please...just stop...please, just...YOU AREN'T HELPING ANYTHING.

Oh look...more Pokemon showed up.

I know this guy...I think it's a guy? I don't know anymore.

And I know that guy, too.  Okay, this is a little coincidental.

There are two of those...and I don't know either of them...

Don't know her...

Or him...

 I sure don't know her...or him...I don't even know if the baby is a boy or a girl.  Kangaskhans confuse me greatly.

I don't know her...CHANSEYS HEAL POKEMON!

Hey, Chansey! I have an unconscious bird here...can you help me out? Thanks.

Okay guys...it's clear that we're all trained Pokemon without our trainers and a majority of us want to get back to them...so here's what I propose:

There are some mountains out in that direction.  If we head up there, we can probably spot some sign of civilization and we can--

WOAH! Who is that dude and why the hell is he ranting and raving like that? Jesus dude, yes, we're lost but we're gonna be fine--

Okay, don't fucking listen.  I don't care, I'm heading up to the mountains.  Yes, go talk to the dog--

Wait! NO!!!!

Fuck, now they're fighting.  Now EVERYONE is fighting.

You know what? Nope.  No.  Not getting involved.  Pidgey and I are heading that way and--

And who the hell are YOU?!

(Real talk: a pink floating Pokemon appeared and had like this bubble around it.  Granted, I know what I think it is and I know what YOU think it is, but there wasn't enough information given to properly define the Pokemon.  For all intents and purposes, until I know what the hell it is definitively, I'm using the bubble as a reference.)

Why Can't We Be Friends?

Did anybody else just hear a tree fall down? It was really loud; I'm sure somebody--

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT DRATINI DOING TO PIDGEY! Hey, dude! That shit's not cool!

GO TEAM CEDAR! ICE PUNCH!

Now...you take a nap and you think about what you've done.  I'm going to take this unconscious Pidgey and...you know...just fucking book it out of Dodge as quickly as possible.

Jeez, this forest clearing is big.  If I don't get us to cover soon, who knows what kind of other wild Pokemon we might encounter out here--

What the hell is following us?

Hey there...why are you following us?

I'm not two sentences into my conversation with this dog and already I can tell it must be some kind of retarded.

Look, little doggie, we're trying to find our trainer.  Do you know where the nearest town is? No? Awesome.  You're very helpful--

NO! We're not fighting now! That Dratini back there wants to fight, but we don't! We're injured and--

Yes.  Go back and fight Dratini.  Go get 'em boy! GO GET 'EM!

Stupid-ass dog...

Hey...I think I see a Pokemon in that pond thing.  It's not moving.  It's unconscious! That thing could drown in there! Hang on there, buddy! Help is on the way--!

Shit...what am I gonna do with Pidgey? I can't just set him down...who knows what will happen to him.  I guess I gotta carry him, but I'll need my arms to rescue that guy in the pond.  I guess...I'll have to balance him on my head between my prongs...

...just...don't...sneeze.

Hey, this little fella's pretty buoyant! Well, that's pretty convenient.  Let's get you onto land and awake, shall we? C'mon, fella...wake up--

Oh.  Oh, you're a girl.  Sorry, I didn't mean--

I mean, with a ball that size, I'd have thought you--

WAIT A MINUTE! I KNOW YOU!

Cali, right? Yeah, I DO remember you! You and your trainer were in that cave and Arturo got hurt, so we had to take you to Herne.  What? No, I don't know where he is.  I don't know where anyone is.  I don't know where WE are.  I don't know who that dog is--

What are you doing here--?

AND WHY DID YOU BRING DRATINI WITH YOU?!?!?!?

Oh, this is not going to be pleasant at all.

We're SUPER Productive

Now...I'd like to say that after being forced out from my ball and almost drowning in that tidal wave that apparently happened, I woke up gently to the sound of gentle wind in the grass and soft music.

I'd like to say that...but it isn't fucking true...

...because THIS SACK OF SHIT FUCKING SLAPPED ME UPSIDE THE HEAD! I'm looking up at him like, "What the fuck, dude?", and all he says is "Wake the fuck up!" Excuse me?! EXCUSE ME?!?! Did you just fucking slap me upside the head while I was unconscious?!? DID THAT JUST FUCKING HAPPEN?!?!?

It's Go-Time, bitch! Sand in your mother-fucking face!

GAH! What the fuck was that?!? This shifty-ass eel just discharged a wave of fucking electricity and now my body don't work so well.

Here's some more sand for your fucking eyes, you piece of--

Where did he go? Where the fuck did he go?! Oh shit...wait!

AH HA! FUCK YOU, SNAKEY! YOU CAN'T GET TO ME UP HERE!!!!

Actually, where the fuck am I? Let's take a peak a little higher up--

...oh that's not good.  That's not good at all.  Shit.  I--

Is that blue mother-fucker trying to climb that tree to get me? What a fucking asshole! I'm not even in that tree anymore! Well, here's a fucking tackle with your name on it, shit-head! BOOM!

Now to finish you off with--

What the fuck are you doing? Why are you hitting that tree? Seriously, what the fuck are you doing? Shouldn't you be--

OH SWEET HOLY FUCK THE TREE IS FALLING DOWN ON TOP OF ME! FUCKING EVASIVE MANEUVERS RIGHT GODDAMN NOW!

You shifty little shit! I ought to blind you for that little stunt! Get out from behind those leaves, you fuck-head! I--!

ACK!

Okay...you didn't have...to leap out...immediately...squeezing...my lungs...can't breathe...blacking...out...

A Change of Perspective

When we all came to, we were in the woods somewhere, far away from the city of Herne.  There are no discernible landmarks nearby, no road-markers or signs...nothing but the vast wilderness.  It's a good thing we're all together, though; trying to tackle this alone would have been difficult.

Oh, and by the way...I'm not speaking from the perspective Tom Cedar...

I'm currently speaking from the perspective of Elekid...

...and Pidgey...SIMULTANEOUSLY!

All of the player-characters' Pokemon are together in the woods, separated from their trainers and have no idea how to find them.  This is going to be a very interesting challenge in conveying the story in dual perspective, but I've blogged before! I can do this!

Stay tuned...shit just got real.

The Lord of All Whales!

Finally, we made it to Herne City, and just in time, too.  Arturo isn't doing too hot and the S.S. Anne is about to pull in and drop off its celebrity passenger detail.  Everyone is gathered on the beach as the massive cruise ship starts pulling into--

What's going on out there? Why is there--?

Oh, God...

Of the things that could happen, this is amongst the worst.  A massive battle broke out onboard the S.S. Anne.  Trainers are releasing their Pokemon into this massive fray and these people are jumping out into the water on their Pokemon; one of these people has a HUGE Pokemon!

It's like a whale, but much bigger! He's like the lord of all whales...a whale-lord...

These "trainers" on their Water Pokemon start buffeting the burning cruise ship with massive waves from every direction.  The S.S. Anne capsizes and we are all left in shock.

Oh, and this is what's coming towards us right now.

This is going to be interesting to say the least...

I Guess Everyone Is Bleeding

Herne is only a few miles southeast of this here cave, so I guess I should--

Hey, I know you! Why are you shouting into that cave?

THERE'S SOMEONE IN THAT CAVE?! AND HE'S HURT!?!

This is why kids shouldn't go on adventures--

Wait, I know this kid! He's the one that destroyed the boathouse with his...umm...cookie-face! I think he said his name was Arturo?

Apparently, it's a smart idea for young archeology-enthusiasts to just wander blindly into caves where Zubats can eat them.  The poor kid is paralyzed, so Mr. Sunglasses and I need to help him get to the nearest city and find medical attention.  I should probably find out this other kid's name...

...Kevin! His name is Kevin! Good name, Kevin.

Ooh, this looks like a good place to rest.  We can wash our respective wounds, take a load off of our feet, and our Pokemon can get a nice drink of water.  Come on out, guys!

Oh! Arturo let out his...

Okay, he called this a Shieldon, but it's name is...Remington Steele? Interesting name choice.  He also released his...

...um...Azurill, right? Yeah, I think he said Azurill, but he's calling it Cali, which is short for Calypso.  Oh, and I remember seeing Kevin's "Wrigley" from when we met back by the lake!

...boy, there are a lot of strange Pokemon out there.  This is an...Audino? Am I saying that right? I don't think Elekid or Pidgey are going to get nicknames, just because I have a hard enough time remembering what kind of Pokemon they are, so I'm just going to stick with "Elekid" and "Pidgey".

As it turns out, this Arturo kid is the son of Mr. Stone, the president of the Devon Corporation that helped develop the means by which extinct Pokemon are revived from fossils, which is very interesting.    Apparently, Shieldons are extinct and that's how Arturo got his.  He was saying something about how Old Amber can be used to resurrect Aerodactyls; I'm not exactly sure what an Aerodactyl looks like, but it would certainly be nice to have one--

Oh right, you're still bleeding.  Okay, we'll get a move on.  I'm sure there's a doctor in Herne.

...but if you see any Old Amber on the way, would you kindly point it out to us? Because if we could--

Right! Hospital! Sorry...

I'm Bleeding!

Alrighty, my Pokemon are all healed up and Elekid is very close to growing in strength.  All I need to do is bring him into the tall grass, find a decent-sized Pokemon, and defeat it.  Then, Elekid can actually know an Electric attack.  Not that I care that he doesn't right now, but it would be nice to have one.

Okay...just...gotta...find...a...wild--

Black guy.  I MEAN--!

Uh...sorry, you sort of snuck up on me and my visual train of thought just finished my intended sentence.  I'm not racist.  No, really...I'm not.

Nice guy.  Told me I could find a bunch of lobster Pokemon over there by the water, so I'm just gonna head over there.  Besides, he told me I wouldn't be able to find any Pokemon here if I just sorta stomp around in the grass--

OH DEAR LORD IN HEAVEN IT'S ON MY FACE! IT'S ON MY FACE AND IT WANTS TO EAT MY EYES! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! I'M BLEEDING ON MY FACE!

Oh, you sneaky little bastard! That hurt! (And I don't have as many Hit Points as Elekid or Pidgey, so that's terrible.  This is what crit-fails do; they throw rats at your face.)

Fortunately, he was no match for Elekid...even though Elekid took a bit of a beating from this rat.  Fortunately again, I had a Potion to heal Elekid.  Unfortunately, however, it wasn't a challenging enough fight to get Elekid to grow stronger, so I guess I have to keep--

Say...there seems to be a lot of people gathered on that little island.  I'm going to check out what all the fuss is about.  Not a lot of people on this side, though.  I guess I'll just walk across the bridge over to the other side and figure out what's--

Why is everyone booing me? What's going on here? Oh...hello, mister.  They want us to battle? Well...I guess...sure, why not? One-on-one.

That's a...what is that? Well, it's green and its tail looks like a leaf, so I'm going to assume it's a Grass-type...

...Elekid knows Ice Punch! Grass-types don't like Ice Punch...I think? Stare at him! Make your angry-face! Leer!

Okay...you both are just leering at each other now.  Umm, Elekid...I think we should use the punch now.

Wow, that thing is NOT happy about Ice Punch coming at its face.

Wow...he's really...um...I win! And Elekid looks happy, too!

That's Thundershock! He's Thundershocking! He knows Thundershock now!

...not that I wasn't happy with him beforehand.

Well, I guess it's time to start moving on.  There's a city on the map just a few miles down the road.  Maybe they have Poke Balls! And a regional Pokedex! Oh, wouldn't that be grand!

Come on, Elekid! We have potential shopping to do!