Granted, it's called the Thousand Wood, but I sincerely doubt anyone has ever stopped to count them all. It's pretty dense and labyrinthine in here, and it's looking like the canopy is going to block out a lot of the light from above. We'll need to stay on the path and follow the signs as best we can unless we want to get lost.
Great...thirty feet into the forest and we're already at a fork in the road. But there is a sign! Let's see here...
"Route 7: Thousand Wood, a.k.a. the Forest of Solrock and Lunatone"
...but which way is Seraph? Come on, sign. Why are you just this?
JESS: Which way should we go?
TOM: Well, there's two of us and two separate paths...let's split up. You go left and I'll go right.
JESS: ...
TOM: And we'll meet back here in 5 minutes after we've been horribly killed.
JESS: Yeah, that's what I thought.
TOM: The left path would lead us to the east, further away from the water, and Seraph is on the coast, right?
JESS: So we should go to the right--huh?
TOM: What?! What do you see?! Are we being followed--?!
**THWOMP**
TOM: ...firstly, ow. Secondly, what is it?
JESS: What'cha doing up there?
GIRL: Looking for bugs!
JESS: What kind of bugs?
GIRL: I dunno. That's why I'm looking.
TOM: ...okay.
GIRL: My brother caught some bugs and he always tries to scare me with him, so I want to get some of my own to beat him in a battle! I hope I can find a Spinarak, though!
JESS: Well...good luck with that!
TOM: Good call, Jess. It's probably best to avoid passerby entanglements until we get the hell out of this forest, or at least until we know what exactly is in here.
JESS: Well, there's some grass over there. You wanna try the spritz again?
TOM: Sure, why not?
Now, we just need to stay clear and see what pops up--
You're going into the grass? Why? We can just wait until--
Ah ha! There's a spray-med against that tree! Good eye, Jess. Let's see what else we can--
Oh boy, looks like we have a taker on the spray! Jess, eyes up!
Pokedex! Good thinking!
"Venonat", huh? I've seen photos of those cute little guys before, and I think they're a Bug-type, right? That could come in handy against Marcus or Zoroark, and you did mention that you wanted to diversify your team a bit. Let's see if we can flush it out--
HOLY CHRIST! IT'S OVER 3 FEET TALL?! WHY IS IT SO BIG?! ARE THEY ALL THIS BIG?!
THEY REALLY ARE ALL THIS BIG?!?!
It is bigger than Soot, good fucking god--
You're having Soot stay on the sidelines? So who are you gonna use to battle it?
Harpy! Very cool! Let's see how you handle her!
JESS: Harpy, look!
HARPY: Hmm?
JESS: Look...look over there.
HARPY: ...
VENONAT: ...hello.
HARPY: ...am I supposed to be impressed by this thing, or...what?
JESS: ...go--go get it?
HARPY: So, we're just battling anything we come across now, are we? Alright, if you insist.
Solid Gust, Jess! Harpy's got some strength in those stubby little wings!
You certainly got its attention now. Keep at it!
Ooh, Pluck! Interesting call--
Yo! That's a lot rougher than I thought Pluck was supposed to look like! I guess if she can't find a berry right away, Harpy will just...you know...slash and peck every inch of you until she knows nothing is there--
Beam attack, incoming--!
But...it's not doing anything? That's weird. Maybe it's a Psychic-type move?
JESS: Harpy, come back! Roses, go!
Swapping? Okay, but why to you have your badge case out--?
And why did you just throw your Ingenuity Badge at the Venonat--??
JESS: Get the shiny, girl!
ROSES: ROSES!
The Venonat is releasing some kind of spore! Roses is headed straight for it--
Not the best landing I've seen, but at least she doesn't look too hurt.
Thunder Wave--that's right! I keep forgetting your bird knows that attack!
It looks pretty spent now. This may be your chance.
Direct hit with that Great Ball!
Wiggle...
Wiggle...
...
...wiggle--
PING!
Hey hey! You did it--and actually, this is a pretty good baseline for a field-test of the PokeLure formula. I should probably call Tera and let her know.
JESS: Alright! Roses, return!
ROSES: Roses.
JESS: Roses, bring the badge back.
ROSES: Roses! Roses!
JESS: ...Soot, will you nudge Roses or something to get her back here?
SOOT: Hey...stop that.
ROSES: Ro--Roses?
SOOT: Go back to Jess.
ROSES: Roses!
JESS: Why do I keep thinking you'll be a good Pokemon?
There we go! Call finally connected and it's ringing--
JESS: Are you happy now, Tom? I caught a fucking Bug-type.
TOM: Am I happy now?! You're the one who went on about wishing you caught that Kricketune! Now you have a Bug-type!
JESS: I couldn't catch the Kricketune! He had a family!
TOM: They all have families, Jess! We just don't usually see the families, but this is what we do: we go into the wild and rip Pokemon away from their families! We just tear that shit apart--!
TERA: H-hello?
TOM: Shit! Tera! Hey, Tom Cedar here. So, I've done some testing on the beta formulas out in the field. Looks like Sweet Scent has a pretty quick response time, but honey's a no-go. Too globby and there's not been any noticeable attraction to the scent. Let's go ahead and green-light Sweet Scent production.
TERA: Sure thing, Tom. Talk to you later!
JESS: You've never even used this stuff before?!
TOM: That's why I needed to do a controlled field test!
JESS: I could have gotten killed, Tom!
TOM: The pheromonal cocktail of honey and Sweet Scent powder was what was driving the Pokemon crazy! They're perfectly calm if the batches are kept separate!
TOM: It's only when you combine them like this that causes problems--!
JESS: Tom, look out!
Woah! Another Venonat outta nowhere! Good thing I've been practicing my spritz-and-run--
TOM: Hey...it's doesn't seem very hostile. It doesn't even seem to notice us. All it cares about is where on the tree I spread the honey and sprayed the powder. It's not showing any signs of hostility either.
JESS: I thought you said combining was the problem--
TOM: Lemme call Tera back.
TOM: Hey Tera, Tom Cedar again. So, new discovery: mixing the honey with the Sweet Scent works, but if try to sell it as a combination product, it might be best to put the Sweet Scent solution in a spray bottle, then put a compartment on the bottom of the bottle with like a brush or something to spread the honey.
TERA: You don't want to work making a honey spray?
TOM: I think this was gives buyers more application and mixing options. Plus, I don't know how we're gonna solve the clogging problem--Oh! You know what? I think it was the moonshine that was causing the adverse effect in the--
JESS: YOU PUT FUCKING MOONSHINE IN THAT FIRST BOTTLE?!?!?
TOM: I needed a less dense liquid to break up the honey!
JESS: FOR FUCK'S SAKE TOM, NO WONDER WE GOT FUCKED UP WHENEVER YOU USED THAT SHIT--!
TOM: That didn't fuck us up! It fucked up my bird and your bear!
TERA: ...so, yeah, I'll get on that when I get a chance--
TOM: Yeah! So, let's sell it as a two-step product that they buy together and combine on their own. Gimme a call back if you make any headway. Thanks, Tera.
JESS: You unbelievable fuck-up--
TOM: I was on the goddamned phone, Jess! And you wouldn't have that Venonat of yours if we didn't have that failed alpha formula refined, so I'd thank you not to shit on the failures that lead to this success!
JESS: I'm...proud of you??
TOM: Better! Let's keep going.
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