Taking a break from Nintendo, I join some friends in a Pokemon tabletop RPG set in the brand new, previously undiscovered Cythos region. Strategy and planning goes out the window and the almighty d20 becomes the deciding factor. Well...this is different!
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
I'll Stop Myself There
I don't feel as though I'm one to judge the actions of another too harshly, but this? Come on, now, Kevin. You're smarter than this. Now look at you, covered in foxes from your head to your sword--
Kevin has a sword--?
KEVIN HAS A HONEDGE?! When did he catch one?! Only time we saw that Pokemon was in the Bed of Jirachi, but I didn't see him throw a Poke Ball at any time. Why can't you use the same stealth you use when handling your balls that you use when you're--?
...I'll stop myself there.
Jess has sent in the hounds, and they seem to just be menacing the Zoroark. Not an outright offensive tactic, but that should help out our heavy hitters--
Like Anubis, for example--
OH SHIT! Zoroark got kicked right through a damn computer. Okay, that's what I'm talking about! Strategic teamwork--
...why is your Gible kicking up a sandstorm, Arturo? We're looking at residual damage on everything in the damn room now, and the only ones not getting hurt from this appear to be your Pokemon. After this is all said an done, we need to sit down and have ourselves a teamwork pow-wow.
Hey, there's a trainer in the back! He just released three Pokemon--
Ampharos, Heliolisk if I remember correctly, and--
An Electivire?! That's gotta be Doc! Yeah, we got gym leader back-up!
...why do his Pokemon look concerned?
And now why are they turning to face us?
...aw, fucks in a bucket, he's ordering them to attack us, isn't he? Gliscor and Elekid, get in there and help out Arturo and Kevin! Joltik, send a Thunder Wave at Elekid as he's heading up to give him a little speed boost, then when they're done mopping up the Zoroark, you suck 'em dry and--
...I'll stop myself there.
Clem's getting in on the action now, too! I didn't know she had a Stunfisk, but throwing around some mud now that's Doc is a hostile is gonna help out a lot--
And whacking foxes with that pipe is...also a thing...
...that apparently works?! There are more questions--
Jess is trying diplomacy on Doc's Pokemon! The bucket runneth over!
SHOCKS INBOUND, PEOPLE!
Dee took a massive hit from that lizard, but it's clear they're aiming for the trainers--
JESS! Vigoroth, get out here! We gotta get to Jess before that Ampharos does any more damage--!
That...that didn't hurt at all, really.
Sorry, big guy...I've got experience handling your kind. You're gonna need to do better if you're gonna bring me down! Gliscor, cover me! Elekid, wrap up with what you're doing and get over here ASAP--
OH GOOD GOD YOU YELLOW FUZZY MONSTER YOU PUT THE FOX THROUGH THE WALL THERE IS A ZOROARK SHAPED HOLE HOW EVEN--
AND THAT IS A ZOROARK'S HEAD. KEVIN.
Just...Kevin.
Clem is taking care of herself fine. Everywhere around her is just pink sparkle dust and mud flying everywhere--
Jess is now petting the Ampharos. Girl, you need to get the hell out of there before--
THE ELECTIVIRE ALMOST KICKS YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF! DOUBLE-TIME, ELEKID!
At least Judgment and Sheila are rounding up the wounded and taking them out so we've got less to worry about.
There goes another one, sent into the great beyond by Anubis, and Gliscor--
Gliscor just took a nasty Night Slash to the face, but Arturo's Gible is helping take that one out.
Anubis just got targeted by that Heliolisk, and if I remember what that beam attack does, we may be in for a lot of trouble if we let that thing keep powering up! Doc's getting smart about this, but I can barely hear his commands...
...what I do hear sounds a lot like a Geiger counter. What the hell is that?
Gliscor's cleaned up over there, but--
JESS, LOOK OUT!
Ka-POW! Right in the nick of time, Elekid! The Electivire is down! Now, let's try to end this madness. Vigoroth, use Yawn on Doc and get him to sleep! Joltik, Screech that Heliolisk and open it up to a massive hit!
A web is wrapping up Doc, but where...?
There's another Joltik behind him on the monitors! Is that Network, or is that Clem's Joltik? Everyone's got a Joltik nowadays--
He's not going to sleep? Why? This should have--
The Geiger counter! Oh shit, we're talking about advanced tech-based mind control, aren't we?! Clem was afraid they'd be controlling Doc's mind. We gotta find that device!
...or, you know...have Doc get covered in cotton from that--
...cotton-guy. That...will help him...stay soft?
Holy hell, I think Jess managed to talk down the Ampharos--
And her dogs are menacing the lizard. Oh man, if something hit it now, that's gonna hurt--
...Anubis. T--too much.
Now that the sandstorm is dying down, I can try to find that Geiger ma-jigger--
Hold on. Why is it that this one radio is the only thing in this room that's still receiving power? Is there an internal power source to this thing? And it seems to be emitting a very peculiar signal--
Ma-jigger confirmed!
TOM: Elekid, smash this thing!
ELEKID: Touchdown, motherfucker!
TOM: ...
ELEKID: ?
TOM: ...probably should have studied it first before smashing it.
ELEKID: ...I follow the commands, Tom.
Hey, is something evolving over there?
Well, it sure as shit isn't Nightsun. Kevin's too busy slapping the hell out of it to get him to stop. But where...
Ah! The Gible evolved! Congratulations, Arturo--
DOC: ...whaaaat happened?
ARTURO: WOOOOOOO! GABITE!
DOC: AHH! My computers! What--?
SOOT: You're welcome.
DOC: Oh no, oh no...bad taste in mouth, aching...time lapsed.
JESS: Hey, you gotta fix your fish. You've been out for a week.
DOC: Oh no!
And off he goes...presumably to take care of the fish. Better go after him.
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