This Is Exclusively Your Fault!

We're just gonna go in there now, despite me saying that we're all still pretty fucked up? I'm not gonna stop us, but I do need to know that so I can cover my ass.

Honedge, I need you fast and hard--

Kevin...just...don't.

Honedge, alternate between using Automize and Swords Dance.  I need you to hit first and cut deep whenever something comes out to attack.

Well, here's the hole we dug into the plant.  How do we want to--?

Okay, Caesar and and Judgment first it is!

JESS:   They took our egg...hunt them down.

CAESAR:   My child--they will PAY!

Honedge, phase through the door and check for an ambush.  Come back if you don't see anything dangerous.

You don't see anything? Great.  Now, we'll just need to--

TOM:   Arturo, why is Anubis squaring off in front of the door?

ARTURO:   We're gonna smash the door in.

TOM:   This is a stealth mission!

TOM:  You see, this is why we can't be friends! Everybody get in the hole!

ARTURO:   Anubis! You had ONE JOB!

TOM:   Arturo just sent a loud clang through who knows how much of the building, so we better get in--

ARTURO:   How is this my fault?

TOM:   Your Pokemon punched the damned door! This is exclusively your fault!

ARTURO:   We can take the Zoroark.

TOM:   Then you go first down the hole, dick!

We should be emerging back in the main entrance hallway, and if the map is correct, Jess and her Sneasel have just headed past the display hall and into the main offices room where we were before when we got ambushed.  There only appear to be a few ways into that room, so we need to protect our rears.  Joltik, coat the doors and hallways behind us with Spider Web.  That way, there's only one way in and it will be dead ahead--

Frostbite's giving the all-clear, but be on-guard.  Zoroark are ambush predators, as we've learned from experience, so we need to be careful.  Houndour, come on out--

I hear running! Shit! Joltik, spray that hallway and slow down whatever's coming this way!

We can't make it to the door that's beyond there, but we can use the same door Jess did.  I heard a scream from a back office through there when Jess got attacked; maybe there's a survivor in there.

I can't see anyone...but I can hear labored breathing.  Honedge, scout forward.  See what's over there.

What is it, pointy? What did you find--?

A Pikachu! And it's badly hurt--quick, I have to administer a Potion to this little fella! Soot, get over here! There's a wounded Pokemon in here...

...and it's wearing a lab coat? That's fairly unusual behavior.

Soot! Quickly, he needs a Wish! This doesn't seem like a wild Pikachu...maybe the lab coat can indicate who its trainer is...

"J. Rupert"

TOM:   Shit, this little guy is going in and out of consciousness.  He's really not doing so well.

JESS:   Do you want me to take him to the Pokemon Center?

TOM:   Quickly.  I don't think he's gonna last much longer in here.

JESS:   Got it.  Here, take Sheila and Soot with you.  I'll be right back.

KEVIN:   I'll go with you, Jess.

Alright Soot...while I have your attention, would you mind throwing a Wish my way as well? I'm still pretty banged up.  And Shiela...

Take a look at my Gliscor.  You may very well wish to consider becoming one for the time being.

Arturo, stay close.  There's been activity in this room since I was last here.  One of the monitors has completely exploded.  If you want to explore, there's a back room over there with the electrical webbing in the vents and boxes of weird antennae devices; you may want to check those out.  I'm going to try to get more of an understanding as to what's going on here.  Honedge, watch my back.

Joltik, plug into that computer and power-up.

There must have been some serious current to get the monitor to explode like that...

You know, I wonder if there's something in here with that much juice output, something that would be able to evolve my Electabuzz like it said in the Pokedex.  I know it requires a lot of electricity, but maybe Doc was working on something along those lines and maybe that's contributing to the power flux.  Electabuzz, go! This might concern you.

Hmm...it says here that Doc is working on battery technology, trying to get vast amounts of power in small, portable devices in order--in order to make the PC system remote?! It's too bad there's no product description or project name for this, but we might be able to use this, if nothing more than a solid distracting weapon against the Zoroark.

Well, there doesn't appear to be anything that could be that device in this room, but maybe if we go to the Poke Ball Testing Center via the Battle Institute through the east door, we might find more things of use.  Arturo, we should consider going through that way; do me a favor and check my web traps for me, see if we've caught anything? Bring your fist-dog.

ARTURO:   Perimeter breach.

TOM:   WHAT?!

Oh shit! Something slashed through one of the webs! This isn't good! Arturo, fall back to the office! Close the door!

Joltik, web this shit shut--!

SOMETHING'S PUSHING AT THE OTHER DOOR! GET READY FOR BATTLE--!

JESS:   Step away from the door!

TOM:   ...why?

JESS:   We're gonna force our way in!

ARTURO:   Is that Jess?

TOM:   I think so.

ARTURO:   What, do you think it's a Zoroark?

TOM:   ...fuck! Well, now I do!

JESS:   Why are you shouting?

TOM:   Jess! What Pokemon did you leave with me?

JESS:   ...shit, I don't remember--

TOM:   Are you fucking kidding me with this?!

ARTURO:   Kill her!

JESS:   Wait! I left you...Soot...and Sheila!

TOM:   Quick, meet us in the Battle Institute through the doors on your right.  There's been a perimeter breach and we need to regroup.

JESS:   Okay!

So, it should be right through this door here...there!

And there they are--fuck, we broke line of sight with them, didn't we? Now THESE two could be Zoroark!

ARTURO:   Is that really them?

KEVIN:   Arturo, hit Tom.

TOM:   Do not tell Arturo to hit Tom.

ARTURO:   Got it.

TOM:   Oww! Fucker! My arm!

ARTURO:   He told me to!

TOM:   Your turn, ass-hat.

ARTURO:   UGH!

TOM:   Enjoy!  Now, you two hit each other.

JESS:   Copy that!

JESS:   Guh...

TOM:   Okay, that's gotta be Kevin.  Only he can evade that quickly and disable an arm with a pressure point.

KEVIN:   Are we good?

TOM:   I dunno, do you want me to give Arturo another tap?

ARTURO:   One day...I am gonna get you back for this.

TOM:   Let's go.

This place looks like a miniature gym, but with a lot of cameras and scanners all over the place...and there's the vent that connects this room with that office.  I think I can see small flickering lights in there...those must be Joltik.

ARTURO:   Alright.  Let's blow it up.

TOM:   NO!  Let's...um...wait to see where they go...and...blow up something...bigger?

ARTURO:   ...good plan.

The door on the far side of the room leads to the Poke Ball Testing Center, but we can loop around and access the office from the other side, and then follow the vent and see where that leads.  Unfortunately, I don't have a maintenance map of the building, just a--

Wait! That door's not fully closed.  Jess, you may want to have Sneasel go in there and check it out.

..."danger"? Okay, then let's web the door shut and--

Kevin just walked through the door.  Fantastic--

and there goes Arturo.  Awesome.  Well, let's just all go in then, shall we?

This looks like some sort of hangar.  It's very long to just test Poke Balls.  I wonder if--

AH--oh, it's just another Magnemite.  Was that the danger Frostbite found?

KEVIN:   Those guys are super useful.

TOM:   Oh, I know.  I want one if we can find a wild one.

ARTURO:   Well, that one's running away, squealing--

TOM:   Oh, damn it! It's heading for that control room on the far side--

A shriek? Did something just attack it? What happened in there? It's too damned dark to see anything--

JESS:   Why is Shiela a Gliscor?

TOM:   Because Ground-type in a power-plant plus Brick Break versus Zoroark equals your new best friend.

JESS:   Got ya.

TOM:   Now, if we can make it through these trees to the--

...

...

...okay, I have some questions.  Why are we in a forest now? Is this real life? Houndour, burn something and see if it burns.

The leaves aren't burning?

KEVIN:   It's a holographic environment.

Oh...oh, that's not foreboding at all--

Clang! I heard a clang! Something's running this way--!

Anubis!

A--ANUBIS?!

Anubis just hit Anubis? What the--OH FUCK WE GOT FOXES IN HERE!

The faux-Anubis just disappeared into the faux-trees.  We need to be on the alert; be ready to attack at a moment's notice.

ARTURO:   Tom, can you use all of your Electrics to short out the hologram?

TOM:   Arturo, I cannot begin to tell you the reasons why that is an awful, awful idea.

ARTURO:   Okay, new plan.  Shadow, float up above the trees and Sludge Wave in all directions--

TOM:   Oh no you fucking don't!

Honedge, get over here! In my hand!

TOM:   The last time you did that, you nearly killed us all!

ARTURO:   Jesus, calm down!

TOM:   So help me, if you try to pull another stunt like the one you pulled in the desert, I will ram this blade so far down your--

Is that...is that me?

Is that me...running at me?

Is that me running at me...holding a Honedge in my hand--BLADE INCOMING!

GOTTA THROW THE SWORD! HONEDGE, GO! FURY CUTTER AS IT'S RETREATING--

IS THAT A FUCKING SLUDGE WAVE, ARTURO--?!?!

D'oww...that...you can't just...

My...my neck feels really warm...

Is that...is that blood?

Huh...I guess the fucker got me after all...

...well, that sucks.