Police Protocol

Okay...so I've got $1425 and a whole market full of produce.  Let's do some math.

Let's see...$600 for a bushel of this, $400 for a small container of that...

Hmm...yeah, that's not gonna be enough.  I figure that Munchlax would need to eat something like five times his size in food.  Right now, I can barely afford one Munchlax of food.  Well, we don't have to do this now.  Jess, let's head into that cave and try to catch a Carvanha.

Well, this is it.  I'm just...gonna stay back over here...away from the edge.  Far away.

Now, how to summon the Carvanha...

I don't want to jump in there and thrash around some more; they'll probably still smell the blood on me and--

That's it! The makeshift bandage! I'll just toss that in and--

Alright! There they are.  Unless you tell me you're in trouble, Elekid's gonna hang back, since throwing him in there would be like bringing a bazooka to a knife fight.  So, you just send in your...

...

...

...are you sure you want to send that into the water? Okay, if you say so.  Let's just hope it can bring a Carvanha out for you to catch.

Yeah...I don't see your bird.  You may want to send in someone on a recovery mission.

Alright, that makes a little more sense than the bird.  When you get them out, I'll have Elekid shock the water.

I'm sure they'll be fine--

Did you hear that? There's someone behind us!

Uh oh...this isn't good.

Elekid, keep your eyes on this guy! Alright, buddy...don't make any sudden movements.  Just release your belt and hand your Poke Balls over slowly.

Why? Because you're wanted for shoplifting in Chloris, I was accused of being your accomplice, and I'm making a citizen's arrest!

You...you admit it? Alright, that makes my job much easier--

Where did you get that Pokedex? Did you steal that from Professor Cherry?!

He...gave it to you? Okay, there's a lot that's not making sense, so start talking.

...

So...in essence, you're telling me that you robbed the Poke-Mart, but because of an unfortunate brain-melding incident with your Drowzee, you developed an understanding of how Pokemon think, you started feeling remorseful, and then some other Psychic Pokemon in a pink bubble communed with you mentally and told you that there is some kind of great danger rising?

If you wanted to explain why I shouldn't take you back to the police in Chloris, you didn't quite hit your objective.  You did, however, come off like a total loon, so there's that--

Jess, your Pokemon have reached the surface! Call them back! Now, Elekid, use Shock Wave in the water!

Great job, Elekid!

Umm...

So...I may have killed a majority of them, along with a few other Pokemon that I didn't know were even there.  So, if Umbreon can find a live one...go for it?

Now that I have you're attention, Jess...

This is the guy that stole from the Poke-Mart, and this is the guy that Josh said I was accomplice to, so we are gonna bring this guy back to the police--

Yeah, the guy you thought was soooo helpful.  He made a false police report naming me as your accomplice.

So, he lied to you? Interesting.  You gotta be careful when picking your friends.  Now c'mon, I don't want to have this conversation in a cave.

There...now, you lead.  If you try to run, Elekid and Umbreon will be on you like white on rice--

Jess, you...want me to call back Elekid? Why?

Umbreon's gonna do something? To what?

You want me...to call out his Psychic Pokemon?! Do you have any idea how bad of an idea that is?!

Yeah, you're Umbreon is immune, but we sure as hell aren't, and if that thing scrambled his brains, what makes you think it won't scramble ours?

Ugh...fine.  Let's make this quick.  Drowzee, come on out--

...

...

...I'm sorry, what? What...what is this? Why is it wearing clothes?

Alright, Umbreon...do your thing.

Alright, all that's managed to happen is that Umbreon and this Drowzee got pissed at each other.  If I'd have known that you were just going to have your Pokemon talk to it, we could have avoided all this nonsense and have dropped him off by now.  We're doing this my way now.

ERIK:   Kid, just let the adults handle this.

Well, that was a little patronizing, but it wasn't really--

JESS! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!? YOU HIT HIM--!

No, I don't care that he called you a kid, and I don't care if you are sixteen.  If you want to be treated like an adult, you need to first start acting like one and not punching people who piss you off! Now, get your shit together--

You...well, yes, Erik...I guess you could file assault charges against Jess.  Goddamn it.  Jess, will you please apologize to him--?

I don't care why you hit him! You still hit him and you're guilty of assault! If he wants to, he can file those charges and there's really nothing you can do about that, and I'm not about to perjure myself trying to protect you and your violent temper!

Finally, we're here.  Nurse Joy, call the police.  We have the shoplifting suspect in custody here and we need to contact an officer.

...

...what do you mean he's not answering? Don't you mean they aren't answering?

So, you're telling me that after all the police reassignments to handle the whole tsunami thing, you have one police officer in all of Chloris...and he's disappeared?

...well, I can certainly see how you got away with it until now.

Well played.