Thursday, February 14, 2013

Long Live The Queen

(POV: Tom's Pokemon)


ELEKID:   The Combee are swarming...let's show them who they're dealing with! [SWIFT]




GLIGAR:   Gah! So many bees! Dirt! I'll kick it up and you blast it into them! [SAND-ATTACK]


PIDGEY:   You do whatever the fuck you're gonna do; I'm just gonna fuck these bees up.  [GUST]



SLAKOTH:   What's going on?

ELEKID:   Tom called you out of your ball--!

SLAKOTH:   Are we fighting?

PIDGEY:   Do you not see the fucking bees?!?

SLAKOTH:   Wha--oh, those are a lot of bees.

ELEKID:   Get your head in the game! Tom wants you to put that big one to sleep!

SLAKOTH:   ...okay.  [YAWN]


ELEKID:   I think Tom has a plan, guys! Aim everything you got at the swarm around the Vespiquen! If we can open up a direct line, we can get to her! [SWIFT]


PIDGEY:   FUCK YOU BEES! [GUST] Oh shit, I may or may not have hit that Umbreon that was charging the Vespiquen--

GLIGAR:   I SEE AN OPENING! HYAH! [POISON STING]


GLIGAR:  Now, what were you saying about an Umbre--OOF! Gah, ow!


UMBREON:   Dude...NOT my fault!

SLAKOTH:   Are we still fighting?

ELEKID:   Yes!

SLAKOTH:   Has anyone gotten hurt yet?

PIDGEY:   Well, some asshole kicked up a Sandstorm and that shit's getting abrasive.

ELEKID:   There are a lot of people here, and even more Pokemon.  Could have been anyone.

GLIGAR:  I don't think any of the bees actually hit us yet--what is she doing?


SLAKOTH:   That doesn't look good.


GLIGAR:   Gah! She's looking at me! Why is she looking at me?!?

ELEKID:   Get out of there!

GLIGAR:   My stinger is stuck in her thorax! I can't escape!


SLAKOTH:   Uh oh...


GLIGAR:   No! No! No! No! No--AAHHHHH!!!!!

ELEKID:   Damn! Gligar is down! That's it, no more Mr. Nice-Guy--what is Kevin doing?

PIDGEY:   He tried to catch the Vespiquen and missed, so what?

ELEKID:   No, he threw it near the Vespiquen, but the ball almost caught something else.

PIDGEY:   Whatever it was, that bitch did NOT like that he tried to catch it--

ELEKID:   There! In the heart of the swarm!


PIDGEY:   What the fuck is that?

ELEKID:   I don't know, but Tom seems to think that's the bad-guy!

SLAKOTH:   I don't see it...

ELEKID:   Tom wants the two of you to distract the Vespiquen...I'll deal with that thing--Umbreon! Thanks for pulling Gligar outta there.  Tom, call her back into her ball!


UMBREON:   No! Tom, call her back out! I can heal her! I can use Wish! Why are you saying she's done?! But...but I can help her...*sniffle*.

PIDGEY:   Hang on a second...Sand-Attack, Tom? To blind the Vespiquen? THERE'S NO SAND LEFT, ASSHOLE! What do you want me to do, fly into the Sandstorm?! Ugh, I don't...how does he...GAHHH! [Pidgey is now confused]

ELEKID:  Forget the sand, then! Just...watch my back! [SHOCK WAVE]


SLAKOTH:   I think that worked...the bee-lady seems to not like that when you did that.  [YAWN]

PIDGEY:   There's a big thing on the ceiling.

ELEKID:   What?

PIDGEY:   A thing...a big thing.

ELEKID:   Well, Tom seems to think it's important, so head up there and try to dislodge it.

PIDGEY:   How do I...okay, I...what?

ELEKID:   One more good shock should take that thing out! [SHOCK WAVE]


ELEKID:   I think that did it! Pidgey, how are you--?

PIDGEY:   I'M FUCKING STUCK! I'M STUCK IN THE THING!

ELEKID:   Well, shit.  But hey, it's not like--


ELEKID:   How long has that Fire Spin been raging in this room?!? GAH! THAT BIG COCOON IS CATCHING FIRE! HANG ON, PIDGEY!!


ELEKID:   Oh, sixty dicks in a handbag! Of fucking COURSE!

PIDGEY:   The thing is moving! The big thing is moving!

ELEKID:   It's tearing open!


ELEKID:   OH SHIT! EVERYBODY TAKE COVER--!

**CRASH**

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ELEKID:   Is...is everybody okay? Tom? Tom!  Are you okay?! Oh...oh, this isn't good, you guys.

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