Are Ladders Too Complicated?

Hello, Jim.  I'm back for Round 2.

Okay...just gotta climb back up to where I was before and see where I can head to from there.

Well, the path on the left slowly ascends...but there's a central pillar that I might be able to jump to from this height.  I can go that way and climb up the right side, or I can continue up the left.  Considering how tough Tyre might be, I may just want to take on the gym trainers stationed on both paths...but for now, I'll head up the left.  I'll double back to heal, then cross to the right.

I'd rather not have to climb all the way up to the top.  There's got to be an easier way--

Of course.

Gliscor, go!

Make me something easier to climb up, girl.  Make me a tunnel.

That-a-girl! Return...I'm going in.

I bet no one's thought of this yet! That's how you're going to beat them, Tom.  Just gotta keep one step--

...ahead of them.

TOM:   Well...hello there.  You, uh...look upset.

APPRENTICE:   What's the matter? Climbing to tough?

TOM:   No...but are ladders too complicated?

APPRENTICE:   ...get him.

Tom, you miserable idiot! Never provoke a blackbelt! Back down the hole! Pinsir! Nidorino! Dig up and take the fight to them! Pinsir, go after red; Nidorino, after blue.  I'll meet you up there.

I can see the dirt flying up...they must have burst out by now.  Alright, I better get up there and--

Pinsir?! You got thrown back down here? Shit, that means Nidorino is up there alone! Pinsir, dig back up there! Nidorino, stand strong up there! We're coming! Pinsir, go--!

Nidorino! I got you! I got you.  Don't worry, we'll take them out.

Elekid, get out here.

Zip up that hole and shock those bastards back to the Stone Age! I'm coming up right behind you!

There's the lightning...here comes the thunder.

Looks like Elekid went after the blue one.  Man, these two are hard to take out--Elekid, he's coming back at you with a roundhouse!

Hang in there, buddy! You've taken harder hits before! Shock him down--!

Pinsir, look out! Duck under and counter-grapple! Toss him to the lower level--!

Elekid, blue's not down! Look out! He's coming back--!

ELEKID! DAMN IT ALL!

Alright, we're through playing games here.  Pidgeotto, go!

Down below! Gust that red bastard 'til he can't stand any longer! Pinsir, clamp down onto the blue one! Squeeze the very life out of him!

There you go! Now squeeze! SQUEEZE!

Great job! One down! Hop down and help out--!

Pidgeotto?! He must have gotten tossed! Reorient yourself or you're going in the drink! Do you hear me?! REORIENT AND ATTACK!

That's my hate-pigeon! Get back in there! Pinsir, hop on down there and squeeze like your life depends on it!

Yes! Now, brace your legs against the cliff! Pidgeotto, he's got nowhere to go! Blow him down!

There...he's down.  We've won.

Another $600.  Thank you, sir.  Not gonna lie, I was not expecting a double battle.

You're...not gonna say anything, huh? Well...that's on you.

I'm...gonna...just go now...and heal--okay, bye.

So...if this gym was laid out like a clock face, I'd say I'm at 9 right now...which would make Tyre at 12 and the jumping platforms in the middle would take me to about 3.  It looks like there's only one more plateau on this side before Tyre, so let's see what this guy has in store for us and then we can try up the right side.

Great...this last stretch is a sheer cliff face.  Fantastic.  Really now, are ladders too complicated for these people?

Well, we've done this before--and hey, there are actual hand-holds, so we're already starting off better than--

...ma'am?

FIST!

Oh, no you don't! You're not the first person who's tried to punch me off a cliff! Let's see how you like it if I pulled you off your perch, you--!

YOW! Right...you know pretty effective blocks.  I'll remember--

EVASIVE MANEUVERS!

Alright, lady, are we here to battle Pokemon or are you just content to play punchy-punchy all day?

That's what I thought! Let's do this--

What the hell is that thing? Why is it spinning? Screw it.  Elekid, go.

Thunder Wave.  Stop this thing from spinning.  It unsettles me.

That certainly gotten it disoriented.  Tag out.  The bird will take it from here.  Pidgeotto, do what you do best!

Go! Use--!

Okay, just a kick to the face.  Could have been worse.  Slow that spin down with Gust in opposition to his rotation!

Alright, his muscles locked up and he fell over! Hit him again! Get him spinning in the opposite direction!

Haha! We've got this thing at our mercy--!

Woah! Okay, it knows Quick Attack...but it's stumbling on the recovery! Gust! Always Gust!

Excellent work, bird! At this rate, we'll be--

Pidgeotto! Judo Jane is charging me! Quick, Whirlwind the top into her!

Yeah! Never underestimate the power of the Whirlwind! Knocked you straight on your ass--!

...and into the goddamned rapids OH MY GOD! Why would they put those in here?! This is so dangerous! She could have been--!

Hey, she left $1000.  Damn right, better have my prize money.

Just as I suspected.  The path up leads directly to Tyre.  Sure, the team didn't take too much damage from that fight, but I'm not about to go after the gym leader unless all of my Pokemon are at one-hundred percent.  Whelp...looks like I'm going back down.

There has got to be an easier way to do this.

I Would Like To Express My Sincerest Apologies

I...well...I certainly wasn't expecting this.  Cliff walls...inside the gym?

And rapids...inside the gym? Who in the hell builds these gyms? Is there a school of architectural design somewhere in the other regions that teaches how to build this crap? Also, aren't there some kind of safety regulations in place so that people don't die in these gyms?

There seems to be a central plateau towards the top of these cliffs...that's got to be where Tyre is.  If I can only get up there.

Jim, is this gym going to fuck me up?

Yep.  Thought so.  Throw me a water and let's do this thing.

So, Tyre tests himself and his apprentices in harsh environments, and he expects us to face the same.  I'm still not convinced that the trainers are going to do more damage than this terrain.

Well, I have to start up the west side of the gym to get any higher, so...here we go.

I had really hoped that I wouldn't need to be climbing another steep cliff-face in the near future, but hey, at least I wouldn't have to deal with any Pokemon looming in the shadows above me waiting for--

What the hell is--?

FIST! EMERGENCY DIVE ROLL!

What the--? Hey, don't I know you? Yeah...you were one of the apprentices from inside Tyre's house. It doesn't really look as though Tyre's giving you guys much of a chance to rest up after that ordeal.  Well...let's get on with it then.  Go, Chinchou!

Show me what you're packing there, grasshopper--

A Mankey.  That thing does not look--

Why is it inhaling--? Oh god, plug the ears--!

GAH IT'S HORRIBLE! CHINCHOU! REMEMBER THE CENTIPEDE! THUNDER WAVE!

Now! Before it brushes off the static! Confuse Ray!

Okay! We've gotten it into a cycle of self-abuse.  Let's tag you out.  Now, Pidgeotto, come on out!

The Mankey can barely get to its feet! Gust!

Yeah! The wind packs a wallop! You got that thing rolling--

Right off the cliff OH DEAR GOD!

I...I AM SO SORRY! Can you recall it?

The rapids are too strong! Your Mankey is getting sucked down towards that opening by the entry--

THAT LEADS TO THE WATERFALL! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT--!

...I, once again, would like to express my sincerest apologies for what happened just then.  I had no idea--

Oh...so that's why there are cliffs and rapids? So that you guys can knock our Pokemon down there on purpose?!

Not gonna lie, that's kind of dangerous...and dickish.  But, uh, did you want to go get your Mankey--?

After the battle? Alright, it's your monkey.

Okay, I'm going to assume this little log-lugger is another Fighting-type.  Pidgeotto, give him a Gust...but...please, aim in, away from the rapids?

POW! Knocked him right back into his trainer! Let's see what this bugger's got left in him after taking a hit like that--

Did he just break the stone ground with his log? If he gan pick up those shards...

ROCK THROW! PIDGEOTTO, LOOK OUT--!

Damn! Out cold.  Alright, bird-o, take five.  Let's send out someone who can take a few stones to the face.  Nidorino, go--

That sounded bad.  Nidorino, go!

Peck him right between the eyes! He's gonna learn he's gonna need to bring his A-game against you!

That's what I'm talking about! Get ready, Nidorino, it looks like batter's up--!

Okay, shake it off! Peck him in the arm! Weaken that swing of his!

There we go! Let's see him throw that thing around now--

So he's resorted to slapping, eh? Nidorino, pin that hand of his to the wall and show him how you slap.

One horn in the hand and two feet across the face.  That's how we do.

Thank you for the $600, friend.  Go attend to your Mankey.  I don't think anyone's coming to challenge Tyre after me...at least as far as I know.

I know it's only going to get harder from here.  I better heal up the entire team before I take on anyone else.  Back to the Pokemon Center.

Geez, if that's what the first apprentice was like, Tyre's got to be much stronger.  No wonder everyone so far has had such difficulty with him.

Hey, Jess.  Round one was successful.  I haven't lost yet, but hey, the night's still young.  Just dropping by to heal up the team before taking on anyone else.  I'll...probably be doing that a lot--

Well, that sounds like my cue to pick up the team.  Looks like I'm off.

...oh, and if you happen to see any of my Pokemon shoot out of that waterfall...do try to grab them up before they drown, if you can.

Or me.  If you see me shoot out of the waterfall, don't let me drown...

'Kay, thanks.  Bye!