Monday, January 13, 2014

Anybody Want Dibs?


Woah, that was a close one!


Nice use of the emergence tackle, Mr. Adams.  I would definitely be fond of keeping these doors closed for the moment...at least until we come up with a plan.

JESS! GET OVER HERE! I FOUND ANGRY TERRIBLE THINGS THAT THROW WOOD!


Unless you have any objections, Kevin, I'm going to assume that this room here is the nexus of paranormal activity.  If it isn't, this has got to be the way to get to it--

A headquarters, you say? Oh, that's right, you were up here before.  If you noticed a locked door while you were in this room here, that might be where all this spooky nonsense is originating; if we get into that room, we can stop it.  If it's all some kind of illusion, we can break it.  If it's a genuine horrible spectral abomination, then...well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

I'm ready to break this door down.  Get your hitters out, folks.  Kevin, if you head for that door and bust it down, Jess and I will run interference and give you as much cover as we can,

Let's do this, guys.  Charge!


Release the fury, Kevin--!


What?! Kevin's Poke Ball stopped in mid-air? What's going on here?! Joltik, power the Silph Scope!


Oh holy hell, arms made of shadow.  Shadow arms...emerging from underneath the door! Kevin, we need to restrain those hands! We need to hit the gap in the door with Sand Attacks and Spider Webs! If we create an opening, we can go straight for the door and break it down! Now, attack!


It appears to be working! All right, team...bull rush the door! Full force--!


Kevin, are you playing Godsmack on your phone--? Never mind; if it works for you, it works for me.  Charge! Watch out for the debris!


The door is giving! We need to hit it harder--!


That's the spirit, Pidgey! You broke through! Everyone, take a note from the tiny bird of hate! Hate the door and attack!


Oof! Well...that will do it--


I...I think I found the culprit behind all this ghost stuff? This doesn't look like a ghost, though.  It doesn't even look like it's all that dangerous.

It's just holding its little dolly and looking terrified.  I wonder what the Pokedex has to say about this.


Clefable? That's definitely not a Ghost-type Pokemon.  What's going on here?

Hey there, little fella...what's up? What are you doing here in this house? Do you remember the man who used to live here? You do? Do you know--?


Kevin, that's not exactly productive--


What happened here, little buddy?


Oh...that's...a nice dolly...I guess--

You want us to have the dolly? Did the dolly do something bad? You seem pretty desperate to get rid of that thing.  You know, you don't have to keep it if you don't want.

Me? Oh no, I couldn't possible take that doll from you.  I'm much too tired from knocking that door down.  See, even my Slakoth is tired.  He's yawning.


Look at him yawn.  See? Yawning--


Slakoth, you better get what I'm trying to tell you here--


YES! See, he's so sleepy.  And...you're sleepy, too...aren't you...?

It's asleep.  Slakoth, go grab that doll.

Also, I know this is probably a bad time for this, but is anyone going to call dibs on this Clefable? Because I'm thinking about it--


Okay, Kevin.  We'll decide who get's it after we've cleared this house of--


Slakoth? You fell asleep now? Come on over here, little guy.  Wake up and try to grab that doll--


WOAH! EASY! CALM DOWN! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU--?!


Clefable?

Alright, it's Silph Scope time.


That shadow...it's...odd.  This is no Clefable.  I better get Snorlax at the ready.

All right, pinky.  Things are about to get very ugly very quickly if you don't--


GAH! What the hell was that?! A black ball of energy just shot out from the bed and into my chest! That does it, little guy--! And everything is floating now.  Yep, we definitely found our culprit.  Well, if you're a Ghost-type, you're gonna hate this: Emolga, use Pursuit!


That...that barely did anything.  How did it resist that attack? Emolga hit is square in the back--


EMOLGA, NO! Where did that shadow-fist come from?! I--


Kevin's Joltik just used Thunder Wave on the bed...and it screamed? Oh my god...it actually is a Clefable...but it must be possessed by something in the bed! Great thinking, Kevin--


...why did you punch your Meditite in the face? I...I am not going to pretend to understand you.

We need to exorcise that bed! Pidgey, Sand Attack! Joltik, give another Thunder Wave!


Reaver! Kevin's Poochyena just grabbed the dolly! Excellent! Now we can attack the bed directly; Bagon, go! Bite that bed where you think you'll do the most damage!

Damn, the Clefable blew everyone off the bed! It's trying to create some space for itself--


What...what is that?


Sneasel's Icy Wind is hitting Clefable and it's shadow...but they're both flinching differently? Jess, what is this thing?


"Gengar: the shadow Pokemon."

Guys, this isn't a possession...it's a tag-team.


You got a song for this, Kevin?

Actually, don't answer that.

...but does anybody want dibs on the Gengar?

Monday, December 16, 2013

There Are Stair Spikes In My Ribs


Huh...it's funny, you know? All those bikers whizzing around on this path before are really giving us a wide berth.  I wonder why that is--

Oh...because Kevin threatened to punch one in the mouth...and I was with him when he did that...and now they fear me.

Good.


Well...there she is again.  At least now we'll know what we're dealing with now that we have the Silph Scope--


Fuck.  Me.  We are going to goddamned die in this house--


I mean, err...we should just go through the house, room by room...especially the upstairs...and just clear everything out with battling...because that's what we do?


Alright, Joltik, keep the electricity flowing through that scope.  Everybody else...watch my ass.


Actually seeing the number of ghosts whirling around this house in a miasma of haunting death actually makes me seriously doubt my choice of Pokemon.  I mean, I have complete faith in their ability to kick some ass...but I really wish I had Gliscor or Elekid with me.  You know...just in case--

You'll scream if you see a ghost, Jess? Girl, if you were seeing what I'm seeing, you'd shit your pants.


Okay...we need to get up those stairs somehow.  It's gotta be a four foot height difference between the floor and the part of the stairs we can actually stand on, then there's the giant hole in the floor--

Or just jump.  Why the fuck not, Jess? We're only storming a house full to the brim with specters...let's not be careful or anything--

Well, at least you made it.  Now...how do you suppose I get up there--?


JESS...THERE IS ONE RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

Hang on! I'm coming up there! Here, catch!


Jesus, careful with that! Granted, it wasn't a great throw to begin with, but don't drop it--!


Joltik! I forgot you were in the Silph Scope! I'm so sorry! I won't throw you like that again, I promise!

Now, I'm gonna try to make the jump...get ready...

HYAH!


OOW...my ribs...


Okay...now to just...pull myself up...

Just...gotta..put...a little...oomph...in it...

Just...a little...bit...of--

Jess, will you please help me before I careen into a pit full of lumber spikes?! Pokemon! Assist me--


You are all tiny, tiny creatures and cannot help me here.  Shit.


Pinsir, Lapras, Gliscor, even Houndour would have been able to help me out here.  But nope...had to go with this team--

JESS, PLEASE PULL HARDER PLEASE CHRIST PLEASE--!

OWW! Something bit my ass--


Pidgey! Not helping! Good intentions...maybe...but not helping--!


Emolga, what's wrong? There's commotion up there? Jess...now would be a good time to start pulling--


I'M TRYING AS HARD AS I CAN THERE ARE STAIR SPIKES IN MY RIBS--!

Gah! Okay...we're up.  Everyone else, I'm just gonna recall you into your Poke Balls then release you back up here.


Oh God, the upstairs is even worse than the downstairs.  I hate this...and I have the feeling that I'm being watched...


Have I mentioned that I hate it here? Because I hate it here--

Is there...something...behind...me...?


Emolga...Pursuit.  Pursuit NOW!


Damn, you missed it! Quickly, follow it down that way!


They've gone...vanished.  This is gonna be a lot harder than I thought...

Unless...

They keep appearing...

...behind me!


GAH! Jesus! Hoo, you scared the hell out of me, Kevin! Don't do that...

Remind me, by the way, if we ever come back here...we need to bring a ladder.  Those stairs are--

How did you get up the stairs--you know what? Never mind that.  Let's just pick a direction and sweep the floor.


We've already started going this way...so let's keep it moving.  Jess, if you want to try the other way, go right ahead.  Let's just stay in contact in case of an emergency.

This room looks like a good start...let's start up the scope.


Everything is horrifying...and there's a weird dark spot over there.  Kevin, get your Skarmory and your Meditite ready...things might go sour.  Slakoth, Yawn at the spot!


I...can't tell if that did anything.  Emolga, try using Pursuit on it.


I...can't tell if that did anything either.  Shoot.  Kevin, you want to sweep this room for me? I'm pretty sure it's empty, but I can't really tell.  There's a big dark spot right over there and I have no idea what it is.


Swift should do the trick.  Good call.


Yeah...I dunno if that--


Oh...I know what's gonna happen now.  I'll just...put Bagon away...and walk to the next room--


Quickly.  Walk to the next room very quickly.


This place is the worst place of all of the things...but there's no distortion here.  It might be that the dark spot in the other room is an isolated incident.  Maybe it's some kind of portal--what's that on the desk?


Hey, this is a TM! TM #94...but the name of the move is smudged off.  All I can make out is "ash".  Maybe it's a Fire-type move? Who knows--


Ooh, and a piece of candy.  It doesn't look dirty at all, and it's still pretty sealed.  Maybe if I get out of here alive, this will be a nice little treat.

Hey Kevin, this room here is pretty clear, too.  After you're done there, let's sweep this one too.  I'm gonna try this next room over here across the hall.


This room seems to be in the exact center of the spirit vortex, so maybe we'll find something--


Oh fuck.