Thursday, March 21, 2019

Bark Shit, Get Hit


...left.  Let's go left.  If we're gonna get to Seraph one way or another, we might as well take a couple of paths that might lead us near the Shrine to Celebi.  I mean, who knows? We just might find it.

We'll have to look carefully, though.  If Jack couldn't find it, then chances are it's not just out there in plain sight.  Maybe check areas that are particularly overgrown, or--


Yeah, just like this patch here on the left! Maybe there's something in here that could give us a clue.  If not, we'll just keep on going to the right and continue looking.

Well, there's definitely something in that grass, but it looks kind of like a big, spiky Revive.  If that is a Revive, that's not something to just leave laying around.  Better pick that up; you never know when one of our heavy-hitters will drop like a--


PINECONE! Hey, don't try to bite me! You don't even have teeth! You know, if this forest is chock full of bugs, I think I know who needs to come out and level up a bit.

Houndour, go!


Lemme just...step out of this tall grass...and okay! Use Ember!


The fire does seem to hurt that Pineco, but it looks like it's trying to endure through the pain.  If it's using Bide, then we need to hit this thing again...hard!


..okay, maybe a little too hard, but hey, a popped Pineco is better than Pineco popping Houndour in the face--


And the brush is on fire.  Okay, I thought this might happen.  Chinchou, go!


Dowse the fire with Bubble!


Okay, phew! The fire's going down.  I actually kind of like this pairing.  Houndour, there are a lot of things in this forest that would probably try to kill us, but really don't like fire.  You burn those things.  Chinchou, whatever he burns that he shouldn't have burned, dowse it.  Both of you stay out and get acquainted.


CHINCHOU:   We do not spend much time together.


HOUNDOUR:   Can't say that we do, no.


CHINCHOU:   ...


HOUNDOUR:   ...


CHINCHOU:   ...may I ride you?


HOUNDOUR:   ...


CHINCHOU:   ...it's just that my legs are so small and stubby--


HOUNDOUR:   Fine.


CHINCHOU:   Yay! We are becoming friends!

HOUNDOUR:   ...

CHINCHOU:   ...okay, good talk.


Hey, this looks like a Max Revive! Oh, that's going to be incredibly useful!


Great, the deeper we move into this forest, the darker it's getting.  Good thing Chinchou glows so brightly.  Now let's see...the path branches again, to the east and to the north.  Well, going to the north doesn't make a whole lot of sense at this point--


JESS:   What was that crashing noise?!


TOM:   I heard it, too.  It was coming from the north.


JESS:   Then we need to be going in the opposite direction of whatever the hell is making all that noise!


TOM:   True, but I'm not particularly comfortable letting anything get behind me while we're in this forest.


JESS:   ...okay, that's a really good point.  Roses! Scout out ahead what's making that noise!


TOM:   Houndour! Chinchou! Follow her!


TOM:   Jess, can you make out what's over there?


JESS:   I can barely see, but it looks like there's something going on behind that thick tree.


TOM:   Wait, which tree?


JESS:   The one that guy just walked out from behind--


GUY:   Alright, another one! Winfred, get it!


JESS:  --and is starting to move in on Roses--


JESS:   HOLY SHIT IT'S A BEAR!


TOM:   That looked like a Thunder Wave just went off! Roses is fighting--!


JESS:   Roses just went down! ROSES!

Jess! Wait, come back here! We cannot go bolting off in these woods! I always end up having to bolt after the bolters and I usually get hurt because of it!


JESS:   Roses, return!


GUY:   Aww gee, I didn't realize that Murkrow was trained! It just sort of, you know, swooped at us and--


JESS:   We heard crashing up here!


GUY:   Yeah, that's Winfred.  He doesn't know his own strength sometimes.


JESS:   Oh...well, I'm sorry he got paralyzed.  Here, I think I've got a Paralyze Heal in here somewhere--here!


GUY:   Thanks! Now hold still, Winfred.


WINFRED:   Grrrr...rawr? Grraahhhhhhh...


TOM:   That seemed to have made it feel better--


WINFRED:   GRRAWWWWWWW!


TOM:   Oh! That's...that's quite a hug that bear's got there.


JESS:   Are...are we going to witness a murder here?


TOM:   I dunno what you're talking about.  I ain't seen shit.


GUY:   So where you folks headed?


JESS:   We're going to Seraph.  We need to meet with the gym leader there.


GUY:   Oh, you're not gonna stay for the convergence?


TOM:   Everybody talking about this goddamn convergence...


JESS:   No, I don't think so.  My bird's almost dead, so we need to get to a Pokemon Center as soon as possible.


GUY:   Yeah, I'm sorry about that.


JESS:   It's okay, just be more careful next time about who Winfred attacks.


GUY:   Alright, take care!


TOM:   You know, in retrospect, Zoroark don't really "crash" about, do they? They've been a lot quieter than that.


JESS:   Yeah.


TOM:   Chances are, if we hear something giant and lumbering around, it's probably safe to avoid finding out what it is.  Just until we get a chance to heal up all our Pokemon.  Most of my team can't handle something like that bear in a one-v-one, so I'd like to try to avoid any further trainer entanglements.


JESS:   Yeah, let's just keep going forward.  I'm in pretty much the same position.


TOM:   That's why I've got these two out at the ready; we'll need to rely on teamwork to get through this forest.


JESS:   You're right.  Frostbite! Judgment! Come out!


TOM:   Hey...has your Houndoom and my Houndour interacted at all since it evolved?


JESS:   I don't think so, why--?


JUDGMENT:   Hey! I know you! Ain't so low in the pack hierarchy now, am I?


HOUNDOUR:   Do I know you?


JUDGMENT:   You should...because now, I'm the alpha.


HOUNDOUR:   You don't act like an alpha.


JUDGMENT:   Oh yeah? How's this for alpha behavior, huh! *ROAR*


TOM:   Jess, what is Judgment doing?!


JESS:   I think he's trying to assert dominance!


HOUNDOUR:   Wait a minute! I know your smell--oh, it's you.  Trying to climb up from omega, huh?


JUDGMENT:   You better watch it, little doggie.  You don't wanna get into a fight with me--


HOUNDOUR:   What're you gonna do? Roar again? That's what you do when you wanna tell someone "You don't wanna fight me."  *HOWL*


JESS:   That's not good.


HOUNDOUR:   Now, if you howl, that sends the message "I'm looking for a fight."


JUDGMENT:   ...umm--


HOUNDOUR:   You gonna keep barking shit, or are you gonna bite?


JUDGMENT:   ...Jess, I don't know what's wrong.  I tried to intimidate him, but it's not working! But I evolved! I don't understand--!


JESS:   It's okay, come here.  Shhhh...easy boy.  Calm down--


HOUNDOUR:   Yeah, that's right, bitch.  Bark shit, get hit.


JUDGMENT:   He's being so mean--!


JESS:   Dude...relax.


TOM:   Houndour, heel! You've made your point.


CHINCHOU:   Umm...


HOUNDOUR:   What?


CHINCHOU:   Something is watching us.


HOUNDOUR:   Huh? Where?


CHINCHOU:   ...everywhere.

1 comment:

  1. Winfred the Ursaring...
    Winfred the Ursaring...
    Chubby little tubby will FUCK YOU UP

    ReplyDelete