It's, Uh...It's Exploitable

Hey, Jess.  No, I haven't even gotten to Tyre yet.  Just...just healing the team again.  But hey, I've got $5000 now, and since Arturo put up a lot of money to help get me through this gym, would you mind holding onto this so that if I lose, Tyre doesn't take it from me--?

You're still catatonic, aren't you? Okay then...I'll just...hold onto this, then.  Okay bye!

Now, let's--

Shit, I gotta jump to that center platform all over again, don't I? God.  Damn.  It--

Hey, that wasn't so hard this time.  Cool.  Alright, so let's just keep the hopping going, Gliscor, and let's check out the right path.

Hmm...just a small incline and I'm up to Tyre.  And the only thing left in my path...

...is this guy, leaning against a massive stone pillar.  Great.  Pinsir, get ready for war--

Oh...so you're just gonna drop your Poke Ball and not say any--?

Shit! Mankey! Okay! Go, Pinsir!

Pinsir! He's coming for you! Pinch!

Damn...snuck right between the pinchers and slammed him to the ground.  Well, Pinsir...we're right by the edge.  Do you...do you wanna toss him?

YEAH YOU DO! THROW HIM! THROW THE MONKEY, GIRL! SEISMIC TOSS!

Woah, good throw! I don't think we'll be seeing that little...

...did you hear a splash? Because I didn't hear a splash.  But if there wasn't a splash...shit, it's clinging to the the ledge, isn't it? Pinsir, dig down.  He's probably gonna jump back over the ledge and try to attack you, so lay in wait and strike when you feel him land.

...

...okay, he's not jumping over yet.  Keep waiting.  Harden.  Get ready.

...

...okay, still nothing.  I think he suspects something.  Focus your energy.  See if you can feel where the Mankey is clinging to the wall.  If you can feel it, burst out an hit that thing hard!

...

...okay, there's the splash.  Cool! Mankey's down.  Let's see what else he's got.

Looks like some kind of frog.  Alright, Pinsir, take five.  Nidorino, come on out!

The frog is charging! Dig down quick--!

Careful, Nidorino! It's in pursuit! It followed you down the hole!

...

...damn, I hate having to call a battle when I can't friggin' see it.

So...guy...do you...do you lift weights or--?

JESUS!

Phew! Okay, Nidorino! I don't know what the hell happened, but yeah! Froggie's down! Sweet! You look a little bruised there, so whoever comes out next, I'm gonna give you a rest--

Ah ha! One of these tree-toters again.  Okay, I've got a plan for this little sucker.  Gliscor, it's about time you got some battling action.  Go!

That thing's offensive strategies are based on that log.  Use Knock Off!

Yeah! Right in the rapids!

TIMBURR:   You...you son of a bitch.

GLISCOR:   I...what?

TIMBURR:   YOU SON OF A BITCH!

Why is he punching that stone column--ROCK THROW! LOOK OUT!

Don't take that from him! He doesn't even have a log anymore! Poison Sting!

He's gonna keep tossing rocks at you, and I don't want you whipping out your new move so close to Tyre.  Hit him with a Quick Attack before he's got the opportunity to knock you out and send him into the water,

POW! There you go! Good job, girl!

And an extra $750.  Thanks, friend...my Pokemon have gotten pretty strong, haven't they? But, umm...just a suggestion: you guys might want to reconsider the whole rushing-rapids-coursing-through-the-middle-of-the-gym thing.  It's, uh...it's exploitable.

Okay, bye!

Alright...climbed back up the left side, jumped across the middle, now all I have to do is walk up this final incline and face Tyre.  Okay...deep breath, Tom.  Deep breath--

TOM:  Oh...umm, excuse me...I just...have to...get by you--

APPRENTICE:   Where do you think you're going?

TOM:   I...up to Tyre? I beat you...right? We battled.  I won.  I get to go now.  That's...that is how it works, right?

APPRENTICE:   Oh, you beat my Pokemon, alright.  You didn't beat me.

TOM:   Didn't beat--didn't beat you?! Alright, that's it.  Everyone out!

TOM:   You wanna go, Butch? Let's do this...but let me warn you...

TOM:   We fight as one on Team Cedar, so if you wanna go...

TOM:   ...let's dance.


...why do I provoke dangerous things? Why?

Elekid: Thunder Wave! Gliscor: grab and kite him! Pidgeotto: Whirlwind to the water!

You're slowed...

...you're caught...

...you're up...

...and you're down.  How I roll, motherfucker.  You're lucky I didn't have to use my "I spent this morning hunting dragons" speech--

TYRE:   BWAHAHAHA! I knew I liked you for a reason! C'mon over here.  Let's do this thing.

So, this is Tyre's playground, huh? Surrounded by rapids on three sides and a wall on the other side.  This terrain might be a bit of a challenge after all--

Is that...Arturo? Walking down the other side of the gym--?

He's got a Terrain Badge?! Wait...was he in this gym at the same time I was? Oh god...did he see me fall in the river? I hope he didn't see me fall in the river--

TYRE:   How've you been finding the gym?

TOM:   Not gonna lie, your apprentices may like to fight a bit too much.

TYRE:   Wouldn't take on anyone else.

TOM:   Thought as much.

TYRE:   Your friend seemed a bit agitated.

TOM:   Yeah...his brother was on the S.S. Anne.  Yours, too, I'd imagine.

TYRE:   I'd go after them myself, but I need to protect this city.  I need to know that you guys can get the job done.

TOM:   Just one more thing on the plate, I suppose.

TYRE:   Yeah, life's funny, throwing all kinds of shit at you.  Can you handle it?

TOM:   I guess we're gonna find out--

TYRE:   Can.  You.  Handle.  It?!

TOM:   I don't know if we can...but we will.

TYRE:   That's the spirit.

Zero hour.  Here we go!

In The Making

Hello again, Jim.  Yeah, I come through here a lot.  Trust me, I've got a strategy.

It looked a lot easier to leap to that middle platform from the second ledge than the highest, so I'll take the jump from there--

Wow...I am always leaping over imminent peril, aren't I? I am going to be super disappointed if this journey turns into a series of me jumping over incredibly dangerous things.  Well, at least I've got my glider.

Gliscor, go!

Okay, girl, you know the drill.  Running leap on three...two...ONE--!

(Criticial failure on Acrobatics check)

Shit! My foot slipped! Gliscor, keep steady--!

WE ARE GOING TO CRASH DIRECTLY INTO THE PILLAR! GLISCOR, PULL UP--!

UGHHH! Gliscor, hold onto the pillar! I'm gonna reach into my jacket, grab Pidgeotto's ball and when he comes out, I'll have him create an updraft and we'll float up.  Okay...I just have to reach into my pocket and--

HAND SLIPPED! NOT GOOD!

PIDGEO--!

...I am beginning to think that maybe I don't need this gym badge.

PIDGEOTTO:   Okay, I'm out.  What do you want--where the fuck are you?

GLISCOR:   Pidgeotto! Tom went under! He fell in the rapids!

PIDGEOTTO:   Of COURSE he fucking did.

GLISCOR:   We gotta save him!

PIDGEOTTO:   ...technically, he didn't tell us to do shit, so--

*GASP*

TOM:   EVERYONE QUICK ATTACK! GET--

*wrrgrrbl*

GET ME OUT OF HERE!

PIDGEOTTO:   ...and we were this fucking close.

GLISCOR:   I got him by the belt!

PIDGEOTTO:   Alright, I'll give you an updraft.

JIM:  You okay there, Champ?

TOM:   Still in the making, Jim.

Fucking hell, I hate this gym.  Okay, so I'm back at the beginning.  You know what? I think I can actually make the jump from here.  Pidgeotto...give me a light updraft, and Gliscor...let's just...let's just not die.

We got across! Holy shit.  I never want to have to do this jump again!

Well...now, it would appear as though the rest of the way across is a series of small rocky pillars with plenty of room for error.  Fantastic--do I hear laughing?

Oh, so you found that funny, miss? "Not dignified", eh? Elekid, you take this one.  Show her the meaning of grace and agility.

APPRENTICE:   Well, I'm glad you got used to the water...'cause you're going right back in!

A Makuhita! Oh, sweetheart, you have no idea how much trouble your roly-poly little fat-boy is in.  Elekid, zip over to the smaller pillars and zap him from afar with Shock Wave!

That hit him pretty hard, but he's shaking it off.

He's warming up his hands...for what? He's so far away--

He's gonna shockwave clap like the Incredible Hulk! Elekid, brace yourself--!

He's knocked off! Elekid, bounce off the sides of the pillars! Get back up here!

Opa! Like a gymnast, Elekid! Hit him one more time!

BAM! Down goes Makuhita! You see, dear...he's the graceful one.  I'm just the brains behind the--

What'cha got there, fella--?

The Pokedex says you learned "Electro Ball"? Very cool.  Let's see how that works against her--

Hitmonchan.  Well, great new all around.  Okay, Elekid, let's try--!

FUCK! That thing is fast! I didn't even see that punch get cocked! Damn thing traveled near mach speed! We can do this, buddy! Give him a point-blank Electro Ball!

Right in the chest! Alright! We need to slow this thing down...give it a Thunder Wave!

Direct hit! Now, get out of--

...melee range.  Get back up to the pillar! Zip and Shock Wave!

Excellent job! Zip back--

ZIP BACK!

No! He's unconscious and plummeting! He can't bounce back up! Pidgeotto, go!

Pidgeotto, get Elekid back! He'll drown down there in those rapids!

I know he's small, but you've gotta keep your eyes peeled!

Oh, thank goodness you found him.  Alright, Elekid...rest well.

Pidgeotto...you know what must be done...

...teach them the meaning of fury.

Good god...I've--I've never seen you use this attack since you've evolved.  It's...it's really disturbing...and brutal.

Good...good job, bird.  Get...get back in the ball.

$800.  Very nice.

APPRENTICE:   Just so you know, we're usually supposed to attack you...but I'll let youd slide 'cause you helped us out of the house.

TOM:   Yeah...my bird would have blown you into the next county if you tried that--wait, is that why all of you have been trying to punch me in the face since I've stepped foot in here? Because Tyre ordered you to do that as a part of your position in the gym? Wow...he's kind of a dick.

Okay, I gotta go heal up again.  So...yeah.

JIM:   Wow, you do come through here a lot--

TOM:   I'm still in the making!