You Are Terrifying

Alright, how about you first, guy? You want a battle--?

"Old man"?! Stop that! I'm thirty-seven! There is only a decade between us! I'll show you who's an old man...Bagon, go!

I really need to give some of my more neglected Pokemon a chance at battle.  Bagon held his own for a short while in Tyre's house, but he wasn't able to retain any battle experience after being knocked out.  Hopefully, he'll be able to manage whatever this guy--

A Sandile! I've fought one of those before, so I have something of an idea of what it can do--

Look out for that dust-devil! I know it's disorienting, but keep your focus; let's try that move Prodiga gave us, shall we? If it nearly eviscerate Elekid, it should finish this Sandile pretty quickly.

Go! Dragon Claw!

(rolled a natural 20)

...good boy? God, some of my Pokemon just terrify me.  I wonder what he'll send out next--

Okay...this thing looks a lot...sturdier.  It might be a metal ball of spikes, but I'm sure Bagon can take it! Claw again!

It definitely connected hard, but I don't think much damage got done--

Bagon, your hand is injured! Son of a bitch, so this thing hurts my Pokemon whenever they make contact, huh? Okay, I'll keep that in mind--

Here it comes, rolling straight for you!

Oof, right in the face.  Let's show him what that face can do! Bite it! Try to slow it down!

GAH! OOH! IT'S LIKE A BLENDER IN YOUR MOUTH! STOP BITING!

Bagon, you did well, but we need to carve some distance between that thing and us.  Return.

Go, Pidgeotto!

Yeah, it's a lot harder to rocket into a flying target, ain't it? Gust it hard!

There we go! That's doing something! It's having trouble controlling its roll.  Blast it again with another Gust!

POW! Now we've got it pinned against the fence! We can--

Is it swearing at me? It looks like it's swearing at me...eh, Gust it down.

There we go! Alright, whipper-snapper, you got anyone else? No? Alright, then I win!

$1100.  You know, if you're strapped for cash, I'm fine to only take $100.  I'm going go after the Kahu Gym badge soon, so I should be earning--

Oh, no charity? Okay, champ, no worries.  I'll take it then.  Pidgeotto, return; we'll start the next battle  clean.

Okay, little lady.  You ready? Let's do this--

Oh my god, that little white bear is adorable--DOES IT HAVE THE SNIFFLES?! OH MY GOD!

Go Pinsir.

Quick, Dig down!

Just in time! She was barely able to avoid that icy blast.  Now, pop back up and hit it hard--!

OH GOD--

You...I didn't tell you to spike it into the ground--

Okay, I'll let you spike things.

Good girl.  You are terrifying.

"Don't like that one? I got other things!"

Alright, let's see what you've--

Okay, I think I've seen this thing before.  It looks like a Water-type--

It wooped.  It wooped at me.  I don't know how to process that...uh, Vicegrip?

Yeah! Keep the pressure on it--look out for those bubble!

Eww...those bubbles looked gross.  Keep the Vicegrip going.  Don't...don't let it do that again--

Water Gun--!

Oh...it didn't look like it hurt very much at all.  Okay, we've played with it long enough.  Seismic Toss--!

Yes, you get to throw it--

GAAHHH!

Okay, that did it.  Do you have any other Pokemon--?

GIRL:   Dick!

TOM:   Woah! What the hell?

GIRL:   You didn't have to be mean!

TOM:   This wasn't mean! I've had a Pokemon constricted and dragged underground against rock and dirt! This was a tickle-fight by comparison!

$950.  I'll take it.  Say, I wonder if we scared off that little kid with the intensity of the battles--

Nope, I guess not.  Pinsir, return.  Do you still want to battle, champ? Don't be afraid; trainers battle like this to get better, so we're just helping each other grow as trainers.  You ready? Chinchou, go!

Let's give this guy the benefit of seeing what I'm choosing, and then we'll just adapt from there.

Looks like some kind of poisonous little millipede.  Okay, let's try to conduct some damage-control on this thing; I don't want Chinchou getting poisoned.  Thunder Wave!

That seemed to be a direct hit, but that shriek...Chinchou is not very fond of that sound.  Try to confuse it; maybe that will stop it's screeching.  Confuse Ray!

It started charging Chinchou, but it just sort of stopped...and now it's just writhing on the ground.  I think it's hurting itself.  That's as good of an opening as we're gonna get.  Use Bubble!

Wow...this thing is just...it's not doing well at all.  Oh well, more bubbles.

Chinchou, I know it seems wrong to Bubble this thing into oblivion, we need to knock it out.  Send out more--

It's getting up! The Confuse Ray must have worn off.  Confuse it again!

Uh oh...it's still coming--watch out for the tail!

Get that stinger out of you! Flail!

Alright, you broke free! You didn't do much damage, but it's really disoriented.  Hit it with even more bubbles--!

It's trying to get up again.  You can do this, Chincou! One last Bubble attack!

Phew! There we go! Wow, that one took a while.  Great job, kid--!

Okay, this one might be trickier.  This moth can fly, and it looks really intimidating.  Okay, Chinchou, it worked before.  Thunder Wave--!

It...it didn't work? The thing just wrapped its wings around itself and protected itself from the attack? Oh, this thing is going to be trouble--

Look out Chinchou--!

YOW! That thing just sunk its teeth into Chinchou and he went out like a light--

Like a light...a bug-zapper.  Go, Elekid!

Show this moth what's up.  Shock Wave.

Hey kid, you did really well.  You were the only one of the three trainers I fought here who managed to knock out one of my Pokemon.  Great job.

And $750.  Don't worry, you'll win it back in no time.  Trust me.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go heal over at the Pokemon Center and I'll be--

My Xtranceiver is buzzing...hey! My Gliscor is ready for pick-up from the Move Tutor! Alright, let's go see how well our investment paid off!