TOM: Hello again, Tara. Before we get into this, I just wanted to thank you for letting my Munchlax get his fill of the honey in the Combee hive.
TARA: Well, y'all saved my life. It was the least I could do.
TOM: Still, I appreciate it.
TARA: Do you know why I train Ground-type Pokemon?
TOM: I could probably speculate, but no, I don't know.
TARA: Chloris is a farmin' town, and everybody asks me why I don't train Grass-types 'cause we grow all kinds of crops here, or Normal-types 'cause we use 'em to farm. Well, we wouldn't have no crops without the earth. Farms, forests, even cities need the ground to grow, 'cause you can't build up on nothin'. All life depends on the earth as the foundation...so lemme ask you: you think you've built yourself up on strong enough ground to win?
TOM: I'll admit, I was knocked down to rock bottom when I thought I had some sturdy footing...but if there's one man who knows how to restart everything from the ground up, it's Tom Cedar!
TARA: I hope you're right, son...'cause this ain't gonna be no walk in the park!
TOM: Let's do this, Tara! Go, Snorlax!
TARA: Alright, we helped make this thing, now let's take it down!
Umm...I don't...I don't know what this is--
GAH! Sandstorm--!
KECH! I hate this move. This thing must be able to cause a sandstorm immediately upon leaving the Poke Ball, because that was instantaneous--
It look's pretty tired. It's yawning pretty loudly--
OH SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!
Snorlax! Use Defense Curl in case I have to call you back out. If you can give me one solid Metronome before you go to sleep, that's all I'll ask of you!
Also, look out for the bite!
Alright, Snorlax...let's see what you've got!
C'mon, something good...c'mon something good...
Oh, this looks good--
Okay, you're done. Thanks, Snorlax. You've done what you could. Let's try a new tactic...
Go, Pidgey!
Alright, Pidgey, that Hippopotas just dug deep into the ground, so you won't be able to take it out from up there, but you can try your best to knock away some of that sandstorm. Use Gust on the dust!
There it is! Now, direct the gust directly at him!
Great hit, Pidgey! Now, just--
Oh, damn it! You've only got a few moments left! Let the hate flow through you, Pidgey...
Frustration! Take it out!
Go! Wait, but watch out for its--!
Mouth. Well, Pidgey...you're asleep in its mouth, and you aren't going to be having a good day if I keep you in there. Return.
Go, Chinchou!
Your Hippopotas isn't looking so good, Tara. If only you had--
A potion. Crud. We're back to square-one. Well, we've been in tighter spots! Bubble!
Yeah, that hit it hard!
Uh oh...it's gone underground. Chinchou, you don't have the strength to withstand a Dig attack from that thing! Return!
Elekid, go! Take this!
Now, Pawn-iard Shop...let's see it this works.
It missed! Thank you, Pawn-iard Shop!
Now, Elekid! Zip down and use Ice Punch right on its big head!
No! Look out for its big head! It has teeth--!
Oh, crap...
ELEKID FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ICE PUNCH IT AGAIN BEFORE IT DOES SOMETHING TERRIBLE!
YES!
Down goes the hippo! Down goes the hippo!
TARA: Not bad...it only took you half of your team to take him down. Now for the rest of them!
A Drilbur! Okay, we've dealt with these before and they aren't too tough. Elekid, stay out for now--
Is it...is it laughing at us? Is it laughing at you?
Go, hit it straight on with an Ice Punch!
That stopped the laughing real quick, huh?
Shit, it dug down. I don't want to risk you getting knocked out just yet; there's still a Steelix to deal with. Elekid, return!
Go, Gligar!
It's popping up over there! Use Quick Attack!
WOOHOO! Drillbur is knocked out!
Alright...there's only one Pokemon left on Tara's team, and that's the mighty John Henry. Gligar, take a break. If Elekid can't take him down, I may need to call on you and I want you rested.
Come back out Elekid.
Alright, Tara...I know what's coming next. Send him out...
He's big, that's granted, but you can crack through that hard exterior with a few well-placed Low Kicks! Go!
Yeah! He wasn't expecting that--!
Oh, he does not look happy--
He's wrapping you up, Elekid! Try to break free! Keep kicking!
Uh oh...Elekid...
He's gonna Dig with you wrapped up! Get outta there--!
ELEKID!
You've done very well, Elekid. Rest now...
Alright, Tara. Your trainers told me to expect no quarter, and by God, I'm not gonna give any! Go...
...Slakoth!
SLAKOTH: Ugh...huh?
SLAKOTH: !!!
SLAKOTH: The fuck are you thinking, Tom?
TOM: Slakoth, use Yawn!
SLAKOTH: Yeeeaaaaawwww...okay.
TARA: Oh, shoot!
Slakoth, I'm sorry, but I need you to take some hits for the team here--
Holy crap! How can the Steelix create ice and electricity in its teeth and bite into something?! Uh oh...Gligar would be a sitting duck if I sent her out there and that thing knows and Ice-type attack.
It's a risk, but--
Slakoth's been knocked out! I don't have any more time! Go, Chinchou!
Chinchou, this is gonna be quite the undertaking...
Look...it's falling asleep! We don't have a lot of time before that thing wakes up, so you need to hit it hard, Chinchou...harder than you normally could.
Here!
Keep it in your mouth! Don't swallow! Run up to that goliath and blast it with an improvised Water Gun!
Great job! It's hurting bad! Don't let up now! Bubble it! Pretend it's a giant Carvanha!
Keep at it! You're doing significant--!
Woah, what happened? The Steelix just disappeared?
A sinkhole? Oh course! All that digging from the other Pokemon weakened the ground underneath it, so it collapsed the earth!
Is it...
...
...
...
...
It's unconscious! You did it, Chinchou! We beat Tara--!
We beat Tara. Holy hell, we actually did it.
TARA: Well I'll be! Congratulations, Tom Cedar.
TOM: Thank you, Tara.
TARA: This is just the first step on your Pokemon journey, but listen closely. A lot of things are gonna change along your path. If you focus on your past, you'll lose sight of where you're going. If you focus on your future, you'll lose sight of where you came from. Keep your head up and remember all the steps and obstacles you come across, and you'll be just fine.
TOM: I will.
TARA: Here, take this. This is the Fertile Badge.
Ooooh...that's pretty.
TARA: Also, take this TM. It'll teach your Pokemon Dig.
Awesome! Hey, Gligar's a Ground-type...maybe she could learn that!
TARA: And here's $1400. Take care of yourself, now.
I...I have money! I HAVE MONEY!
I CAN BUY GOODS AND SERVICES NOW--!
Oh...hi there, again--
You saw the battle? Cool. I hope you enjoyed--
You'll...you'll see me at the next gym? That's...that's a weird fuckin' thing to say.
I'm just...I'm just gonna go now.
Thanks for the water?
Oh...you've got something for me?
Well, holy shit. That's great!
But, um...please don't follow me.
Also, please blink once in a while. You're horrifying.
No comments:
Post a Comment