Cedar Versus Stone

...let's do this, Stone.

Go, Nidorino!

Alright...it's the moment of truth.  Who is Arturo leading off with?

Remy! Perfect! Nidorino is certainly faster than Remy, so this should be over fairly quickly.  Nidorino! Charge and use Double Kick--!

Good god! I didn't expect Arturo to open up a huge chasm inside the damned Pokemon Center! Nurse Joy is going to be livid.  But the Fissure didn't hit Nidorino...we can use this to our advantage! Nidorino, dive into the chasm and dig directly into the earthen wall!

Oh, so you wrote the book on digging, eh, Arturo? Well, we'll just see how much you know on the topic--

Damn! Remy opened up a second chasm and exposed Nidorino--

But he's still charging up the side towards Arturo's Shieldon! Use that Double Kick attack now!

Protect.  I knew Remy knew how to do that, and it was smart of Arturo to order his Shieldon to guard itself...but now, Nidorino is within close combat range! Rebound off that hit and try Double Kick again! He can't keep that shield up for ever!

That got him! Knocked Remy clear onto his back...and knocked him out! Now you see, Arturo, I wrote the book on that!

One down and two to go.  Way to go, Nidorino! We're at a perfect strategic advantage to reserve Houndour and reveal Arturo's full team.

Alright, who's next--?

Anubis.  Damn, I knew he'd bring Anubis.  I knew it! But now, I have to take a bit of a risk.  Nidorino may not be fast enough to take out Anubis with a Dig attack before taking damage, but a Ground-type attack should hit that Lucario hard, and that's the kind of edge I'd need Houndour to have to take Anubis out.

Nidorino! Dig under ground--!

Anubis dug down, too?! Shit! I didn't anticipate Anubis knowing a Ground-type attack! He'd be able to single-handedly wipe out my entire team now! Come on, Nidorino...find him underground and take him out!

I can't switch out to Houndour now...Anubis will be able to strike at him before he gets to use Roar or Ember and being a Fire/Dark-type, Houndour will be knocked out almost instantly by anything Anubis throws at him.  But I can't keep Nidorino down there--

They've really been down there a while, haven't they? I don't hear any clashes...maybe they can't find each other? Wait...this could be the perfect opportunity to implement some less-than-conventional tactics.  Arturo's Pokemon are really doing some damage to the Pokemon Center, but if I can convince him to move the battle elsewhere, I can swap out to Houndour immediately, get him to roar Anubis away, and I'll be able to see Arturo's third Pokemon.

Nidorino's emerged from underground and is at the bottom of the trench.  He needs to gain higher ground immediately...maybe I can throw Anubis off by recalling Nidorino and releasing him back out onto the battlefield at ground level.  Nidorino, return!

Now, come back out!

Right at Arturo's feet.  If Anubis can sense tremors in the earth, maybe he won't be able to differentiate Nidorino from Arturo now--

Yipping? Is Anubis hurt? Is he using echo location or something to try to find Nidorino...or is he trying to lure Nidorino into a trap? This is my opportunity to change the playing field...

Arturo! What would you say if we moved this battle elsewhere? It's clear that Nidorino and your Lucario are both looking to land that one Ground-type attack they're both weak against, and since we've not only been able to stalemate each other thus far, but managed to seriously damage the Pokemon Center, what say we pause the battle and relocate somewhere more remote?

You agree? Excellent...shall we say Route 3, right outside the Kahu gatehouse? Great.  Nidorino, return!

Arturo, you gullible fool.  Surely, you must know that I have a trick up my sleeve, something to shift the battle back into my favor.  Then again, what choice do you have? Continue to destroy a Pokemon Center and possibly injure the people and weakened Pokemon there? Youth and skill is no match for age and treachery, young Master Stone.

Here we are...Route 3.  It's still a bit of a wreckage, and there's still quite a few Rock-types down in the trenches of the road, but we can just consider that a hazard.  Now, shall we continue?

You released your Lucario, and I release...my Houndour!

Perfect! You've fallen to my clever ruse! Now, prepare your ears for the mighty, unholy roar of--

Where the hell is Anubis going? Into the woods? Houndour, do not pursue! Roar with all of your anger and hatred--!

Oh...uh, that's right.  Hi, my name's Tom.  I'm your trainer now.  Don't worry, I'm actually kind of a nice guy when I'm not being a sneaky prick.  Use Roar!

Well then...that was certainly terrifying.  Scared the shit out of Anubis, at least; he ran right back into his Poke Ball.  Now, let's see the last piece of the puzzle.  Arturo?

Ignacio! Banking on the Metronome, eh, Arturo? Well, I doubt he's going to explode again, and Houndour should be strong enough to take him out.  Houndour, Bite that Munchlax!

Excellent! Clamp down on that arm--!

Uh oh...the fingers are coming up.  This could be very bad...

BING.

There's...there're two Munchlax? But how did he--Double Team.  Damn.  I saw that Volbeat use that against my Gligar, now I have to face it again.

I know! Houndour! Use Smog! Get that Munchlax coughing and wheezing on the toxic fumes and maybe we can pinpoint its true location!

It's a good hit.  Ignacio isn't poisoned, but it didn't stop him from bringing those fingers back up...

BING.

Ignacio is summoning some kind of...white balloon? Huh? What attack is this--?

Houndour, brace for impact!

Oh...that did almost nothing.  And Houndour seems very eager to attack Ignacio.  Very well.  Houndour! Approach from the side and Bite! Leap through both Munchlax and find the real one!

One Ignacio evades...but the other one doesn't! We got him now, Houndour! Clamp down hard!

Let me guess, Arturo...another Metronome? Praying for a miracle?

I thought so.  I wonder what madness is in store this time--

Glitter? Did you Munchlax just cover my Houndour...in glitter? I mean, it can't be a powder or spore attack, since it hit Houndour directly and it hasn't even reacted to it...so what the hell even was that?

JESS:   So...that was a thing.

Oh, I didn't realize we've drawn an audience.  Hi, Jess! Watch Houndour bite into Ignacio like a chew toy.

Knockout blow.  Well done, Houndour.  We now only have to deal with Anubis, and I still have all three of my Pokemon.  Arturo, let's do this.

The proud Anubis, once again...but he isn't moving.  Why? Is he letting me get the first shot in? What does he know that I don't? Heh, no matter.  An Ember attack will be enough to seriously wound this bipedal jackal! Houndour! Use Ember now--!

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...okay.  No.  No.  Wait.  WHAT?! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?! WHAT EVEN WAS THAT?!!? YOU'RE A FIRE-TYPE AND YOU EXPLODE THE SECOND YOU USE A FIRE-TYPE ATTACK?!?! I CAN'T EVEN--

Oh god, Houndour! Look out--!

Damn...he didn't stand a chance against that Force Palm.  Houndour, return.

Houndour is out, so I've only got Elekid and Nidorino left to take out Anubis.  Nidorino knows Double Kick and Dig, sure, but Anubis would be immune to Poison Sting and resistant to Peck, so that only leaves him with two viable attacks.  Furthermore, he's nowhere near as fast as Elekid, and I don't believe he has the fortitude to take many attacks from Anubis.  I have to use Elekid.  Low Kick will probably do the most damage, and Shock Wave will consistently hit its target without resistance.  Ice Punch may not do as much damage, but Thunder Wave might very well keep Anubis from going on an offensive rampage.

Yes...it has to be Elekid.  If Elekid can't win it or at least paralyze Anubis, I don't think Nidorino can carry the weight of the battle on his shoulders.  This is going to decide it all...

Go, Elekid!

This is not going to be easy, buddy...

...I'm counting on you.

Over-Thinking It

Alright, Arturo: three Pokemon apiece, one-on-one battles, first one to take out all three of his opponent's Pokemon wins.  Agreed?

Get your Pokemon ready...

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Fuck.  Okay, Tom, now you have to really think hard here.  This contract with Devon could be your ticket to financial stability for the rest of your life.  Focus now...what Pokemon does Arturo have?

I know he's got his Shieldon "Remy"and his Azurill "Callie"...or did it evolve into a Marill already? I don't remember if he said that it had or it hadn't.  Ugh, the pressure is starting to mess me up.  I know he's got his Swablu "Shiva" and his Lucario "Anubis, but he also has his Munchlax "Ignacio".  Is...is that it? Does he only have five Pokemon? I don't think he's actually caught that thing he has on a leash, so I don't think I have to worry about that.  He caught that little elephant, didn't he? Who knows.  Then again, he probably caught a bunch Pokemon while he's been away from us, so who knows what he actually has. Let's just make a contingency plan for the ones we can't account for, shall we?

Of the ones I know he has, I know that Remy, Munchlax, Azurill and Lucario would all be weak to a Fighting-type attack.  Even if the Azurill evolved into a Marill, that would mean that Elekid having Shock Wave and Low Kick would be a pivotal asset.  If he decides to use Shiva or the elephant, then Ice Punch will cover those bases.  Elekid has a strength against every one of his Pokemon, so he's definitely in.

Nidorino also knows a Fighting-type move, and since he's a Poison-type, he could potentially poison any of Arturo's Pokemon with a touch.  Granted, he'd be vulnerable if any of Arturo's Pokemon used Dig...but Nidorino knows that as well, so he could potentially evade such an attack.  Besides, knowing Peck will be very useful in the upcoming gym battles against Tyre and his apprentices, so it would be beneficial to have him get some good fighting experience.

But wait...I'm not thinking about Arturo thinking about what I'm thinking!

Of course, he's going to assume that I'm going to use Elekid, so he's going to want to use Pokemon with a Ground-type move ready, so Dig is definitely going to be a factor.  And if he thinks that, there's no way Shiva is coming out to play, nor is Callie.  Furthermore, if he thinks that I'm going to bank on seasoned Pokemon like Gliscor or Lapras, he's not going to want to bring in a newer Pokemon like that elephant.

Unless he brings in a wild card that I haven't seen before, he's going to go with Remy, Ignacio, and Anubis.  Remy isn't very reliable offensively, but from what I've seen from that battle with the Pawniard and what I've heard about the battle with Kevin's Skarmory "Dee", it can take a great deal of punishment while destroying the terrain.  Ignacio is going to be his gamble if he decides to bank on Metronome...and that could end disastrously.  Anubis is the one I'm most sure of that he's going to use, since it's incredibly strong and fast; that's his ace-in-the-hole, and I need to think of another Pokemon that could take him out--

Houndour! Sure, Houndour would be a sitting duck if he didn't take Anubis out with an Ember attack right away, but I think Anubis couldn't have handled the fire in Tyre's house as well if he evolved earlier.  Plus, Houndour knows Roar.  If I can get to a position where I know two of Arturo's Pokemon, I can use Roar to draw out the third or switch out Anubis if he comes out too early.  That way, I can strategize much more effectively.

So...Elekid, Nidorino, and Houndour.  They're all weak to Ground-type attacks, and Ground seems to be Arturo's forte, but each one has a different type attack that Anubis is weak to and he's the one I need to focus on taking out the most.  Plus, Arturo will expect Elekid, but I don't think he'll expect Nidorino who has only seen battle once under my training, or Houndour who I have never battled with before.  There's a chance that he will be expecting me to focus on taking out Anubis, but I don't have any other choice.  If I want to win, I have to put down the dog.

I think I'm going to lead with Nidorino; I don't want Elekid to fight until he absolutely has to, and that's going to be if there's no one else left.  I also don't want to expose Houndour too early, since I want to keep that Roar as a surprise tactic.

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Okay, Arturo...I'm ready.

...I might have over-thought this.

I Am Not Old! I'm 37!

(POV: Tom Cedar)

Son of a gun, I thought I had that thing in the bag! Oh well, I supposed I should just be grateful that my Pokemon got experience fighting such a strong--

Half of my team is unconscious?! Damn! Snorlax and Bagon really needed to train, but I guess so did Slakoth and Joltik.  And Pidgey--

Well...I'm proud of you, bird.

Yep.  That's a compliment.  Come on up onto my shoulder; you're getting a victory march back to the Pokemon Center.  It looks like everything has calmed down now...everybody else, return--

Say, why is that Clefable hanging around that rock by the riverbank? It's almost as if--

IT'S A TRAINED POKEMON! SON OF A BITCH! I SWEAR, IF IT'S THAT BLONDE GUY, I'LL--

He's a red-head, and in tight black clothes? Kind of reminds me of-- oh no...I think we are dealing with a team--

Joltik? Are you still in the Silph Scope? Come on out of there, little guy.  I don't think we're gonna need to keep this thing on anymore for the time being.  Take a rest.

The rest of the crew seems to be heading back to the Pokemon Center.  We better follow suit and heal up.

So, if Tyre is going to be a Fighting-type trainer, it's probably best that Pidgey survived the battle in the house.  Hell, shouldn't he be evolving soon? I heard that Pidgey evolve fairly quickly, but he seems to be--

Uh...hello? Oh, hey Jess, what's--?

The...the doll in the bedroom? The doll...of Tyre?! That was some kind of voodoo doll?! That explains a lot! How else could--

FUCK! WE FORGOT IT IN THE HOUSE--!

Not now, Reaver--

The doll! You have it! But how--?

Kevin? What are you doing up in the tree--fuck it.  Bring the doll to Tyre.  I'm going to bed and getting my massive wounds tended to, if that's all the same to you.

Nurse Joy! Order up! Three quick-heals, three revivals, and a cot please.  I've been awake since dawn and the screams of the Whismur just finally stopped ringing in my ears.

Hey Jess, hey Kevin.  You bring the doll back to Tyre yet--?

I suppose it would be good to fill in Professor Cherry and Arturo.  Give them a call while I get some rest--

Is there a riot going on outside? People are screaming and I thought I just saw a sign fly by the--

Nope.  Not going outside.  Y'all can handle this one.  I'm still bleeding.

Oh, you're back.  Anything interesting?

A cactus? What is a cactus doing here in--?

And how the hell did Arturo show up so quickly? I thought he said he was in the desert--

Oh, god damn it, Arturo.  Did you accidentally teleport that thing here--?

Guys...guys, please stop shouting for a minute.  I know there's a lot of shit going on, but rest is a thing that I--

Kevin's not trying to play the hero, Arturo, so don't start comparing him to Red and yourself to Gary Oak--

Yes, Jess is young, but that doesn't mean--

Hey, I'm not old.  Go fuck yourself--

Jess, now is not the time to discuss the Jolteon we talked about--what kind do I want? I dunno, the cheapest! I really can't focus on something like that right now.  We're trying to figure out who this guy is in Kevin's photo who owns the Clefable--

Kevin...this isn't the guy who owns the Clefable.  This is that blonde guy from Isis.  The guy who owns the Clefable has red hair.  What, was the blonde by the river, too?

Uh, yeah, I was looking through the Silph Scope when I saw him, why do you--?

Oh dear god, they can alter their appearance to all look like one person, can't they?

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I'm actually with Arturo on this one.  We are so out of our element here; a teenager, a weirdo in a wheelchair, and old man--

FUCK YOU! I AM THIRTY-SEVEN YEARS OLD! THAT IS NOT OLD!

...it's from stress.  Shut up.

So, Arturo, you have your Devon contacts searching for the missing gym leaders? Excellent.  You should definitely try to spread the info we're finding to the other leaders and the champion for this region--

Wait...does this region even have a champion? Wasn't the whole point of the World Tournament to inaugurate Cythos as an offical Pokemon League region? Would they even have a champion of the Elite Four at this point?

An interim champion? Well, we should try to contact him...or her...and figure out what the hell we should do.

And on top of that, you might want to figure out what the hell is up with that little red-eyed fella you have on a leash there, Arturo.  He's acting all kinds of funny and it's starting to unnerve me.

Yeah, maybe Kevin's Meditite can help, or maybe Nurse Joy's Blissey or your Lucario, Arturo.

So, there's nothing wrong with it, per se, but it really wants to go...that way? For what? And why? Could that be where the gym leaders are?

Kevin's right.  We need to get stronger and keep moving forward.  If we can't contact the gym leaders via phone, we'll need to reach them physically.  They might be in as much danger as we've been--

Good thinking, Arturo.  Using Devon's resources to help Kevin reestablish contact with the other gym leaders is--yeah, I have Prodiga's phone number, chill out.  Why don't you? Here, I'll give you her phone number--

Devon resources...contact gym leaders...phone number...

ARTURO.  GET ME IN TOUCH WITH YOUR FATHER--

I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR WHAT SEEMS LIKE FOREVER TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOU.  I NEED TO SPEAK TO YOUR FATHER.  CALL HIM.  PLEASE CALL HIM.

Thank you.

Mr. Stone! Hello there.  Allow me to introduce myself.  My name is Tom Cedar.  I'm a...I'm a Pokemon trainer from Cerulean City and I've been traveling with your son.  We've saved each other from pretty sticky situations along the road, but I'd like to discuss some business with you.

You see, I've developed a formula for an aerosol product that can be marketed to beginner trainers as a wild Pokemon capturing aid...but can also potentially be weaponized--

Arturo, please, don't interrupt.  The "old men" are talking.

We're facing a threat in Cythos that has the power to conceal their identities and cause massive destruction by manipulating hordes of wild and trained Pokemon.  This chemical composition acts as a pheromonal beacon to immediately draw the attention of any Pokemon in the nearby area.  It heightens aggression in Pokemon for a short time, which is focused on any physical object or being it is sprayed on, but it almost acts like a depressant to Pokemon--

Arturo, please.

Anyway, there've been some successful field tests to prove the validity of the hypothesis that Pokemon can be lured and tranquilized using a bottled formula...we just need to modify the formula so that it doesn't cause massive withdrawal symptoms to appear in Pokemon and beginner trainers can use it to entice wild Pokemon out into the open in order to be captured.  I'm calling it PokeLure for now, and what I need from Devon is bottling supply.  I have the gym leader of Chloris not only supporting this project in spirit, but in supplying composition resources as well.

Furthermore, because the original formula caused hyper-aggression in wild Pokemon and trained Pokemon, by maintaining the original formula, you can potentially synthesize the product as a rage-inducing chemical weapon and use it to help combat this threat in Cythos...and save your son, Steven.

I'm glad to hear that I've piqued your interest.  Here's my PC box info and my phone number.  Contact me with any questions you may have.  If you send me the information for your PC box, I can send you the beta-prototypes I have currently brewing in Chloris.  Thank you for your time, President Stone.  Take care.

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Oh, don't look at me like that--

Hey, I am not trying to hustle your dad, Arturo! Not everyone has a bottomless daddy-bank to fund anything we'd like; some of us need to work for a living and that' what I'm trying to do.  Oh! And I noticed you came from the desert, meaning you needed a bike to get there.  Now, I worked in the bike shop down in Cerulean and I know how expensive they are, so tell me...if you couldn't get a voucher from Tyre, how'd you manage to acquire a brand new, shiny bicycle like that one? Daddy's credit card--?

Kick my ass? Just because you don't want any of your father's billions of dollars going anywhere else besides your own pocket?! I'll tell you what...we'll fight.  I'll agree to that.  If you win, I will send over everything I have on PokeLure to the Devon Corporation and I won't ask for as much as a dime.  If I win, you stay out of my business dealings with your father.  If you want to throw down, let's do it...but we're gonna fight the way civilized, mature people fight...

...with Pokemon.