Sunday, February 23, 2014

Cedar Versus Stone


...let's do this, Stone.


Go, Nidorino!


Alright...it's the moment of truth.  Who is Arturo leading off with?


Remy! Perfect! Nidorino is certainly faster than Remy, so this should be over fairly quickly.  Nidorino! Charge and use Double Kick--!


Good god! I didn't expect Arturo to open up a huge chasm inside the damned Pokemon Center! Nurse Joy is going to be livid.  But the Fissure didn't hit Nidorino...we can use this to our advantage! Nidorino, dive into the chasm and dig directly into the earthen wall!


Oh, so you wrote the book on digging, eh, Arturo? Well, we'll just see how much you know on the topic--


Damn! Remy opened up a second chasm and exposed Nidorino--


But he's still charging up the side towards Arturo's Shieldon! Use that Double Kick attack now!


Protect.  I knew Remy knew how to do that, and it was smart of Arturo to order his Shieldon to guard itself...but now, Nidorino is within close combat range! Rebound off that hit and try Double Kick again! He can't keep that shield up for ever!


That got him! Knocked Remy clear onto his back...and knocked him out! Now you see, Arturo, I wrote the book on that!


One down and two to go.  Way to go, Nidorino! We're at a perfect strategic advantage to reserve Houndour and reveal Arturo's full team.

Alright, who's next--?


Anubis.  Damn, I knew he'd bring Anubis.  I knew it! But now, I have to take a bit of a risk.  Nidorino may not be fast enough to take out Anubis with a Dig attack before taking damage, but a Ground-type attack should hit that Lucario hard, and that's the kind of edge I'd need Houndour to have to take Anubis out.

Nidorino! Dig under ground--!


Anubis dug down, too?! Shit! I didn't anticipate Anubis knowing a Ground-type attack! He'd be able to single-handedly wipe out my entire team now! Come on, Nidorino...find him underground and take him out!


I can't switch out to Houndour now...Anubis will be able to strike at him before he gets to use Roar or Ember and being a Fire/Dark-type, Houndour will be knocked out almost instantly by anything Anubis throws at him.  But I can't keep Nidorino down there--

They've really been down there a while, haven't they? I don't hear any clashes...maybe they can't find each other? Wait...this could be the perfect opportunity to implement some less-than-conventional tactics.  Arturo's Pokemon are really doing some damage to the Pokemon Center, but if I can convince him to move the battle elsewhere, I can swap out to Houndour immediately, get him to roar Anubis away, and I'll be able to see Arturo's third Pokemon.


Nidorino's emerged from underground and is at the bottom of the trench.  He needs to gain higher ground immediately...maybe I can throw Anubis off by recalling Nidorino and releasing him back out onto the battlefield at ground level.  Nidorino, return!


Now, come back out!


Right at Arturo's feet.  If Anubis can sense tremors in the earth, maybe he won't be able to differentiate Nidorino from Arturo now--

Yipping? Is Anubis hurt? Is he using echo location or something to try to find Nidorino...or is he trying to lure Nidorino into a trap? This is my opportunity to change the playing field...


Arturo! What would you say if we moved this battle elsewhere? It's clear that Nidorino and your Lucario are both looking to land that one Ground-type attack they're both weak against, and since we've not only been able to stalemate each other thus far, but managed to seriously damage the Pokemon Center, what say we pause the battle and relocate somewhere more remote?


You agree? Excellent...shall we say Route 3, right outside the Kahu gatehouse? Great.  Nidorino, return!

Arturo, you gullible fool.  Surely, you must know that I have a trick up my sleeve, something to shift the battle back into my favor.  Then again, what choice do you have? Continue to destroy a Pokemon Center and possibly injure the people and weakened Pokemon there? Youth and skill is no match for age and treachery, young Master Stone.


Here we are...Route 3.  It's still a bit of a wreckage, and there's still quite a few Rock-types down in the trenches of the road, but we can just consider that a hazard.  Now, shall we continue?


You released your Lucario, and I release...my Houndour!


Perfect! You've fallen to my clever ruse! Now, prepare your ears for the mighty, unholy roar of--


Where the hell is Anubis going? Into the woods? Houndour, do not pursue! Roar with all of your anger and hatred--!


Oh...uh, that's right.  Hi, my name's Tom.  I'm your trainer now.  Don't worry, I'm actually kind of a nice guy when I'm not being a sneaky prick.  Use Roar!


Well then...that was certainly terrifying.  Scared the shit out of Anubis, at least; he ran right back into his Poke Ball.  Now, let's see the last piece of the puzzle.  Arturo?


Ignacio! Banking on the Metronome, eh, Arturo? Well, I doubt he's going to explode again, and Houndour should be strong enough to take him out.  Houndour, Bite that Munchlax!


Excellent! Clamp down on that arm--!


Uh oh...the fingers are coming up.  This could be very bad...

BING.


There's...there're two Munchlax? But how did he--Double Team.  Damn.  I saw that Volbeat use that against my Gligar, now I have to face it again.

I know! Houndour! Use Smog! Get that Munchlax coughing and wheezing on the toxic fumes and maybe we can pinpoint its true location!


It's a good hit.  Ignacio isn't poisoned, but it didn't stop him from bringing those fingers back up...


BING.


Ignacio is summoning some kind of...white balloon? Huh? What attack is this--?

Houndour, brace for impact!


Oh...that did almost nothing.  And Houndour seems very eager to attack Ignacio.  Very well.  Houndour! Approach from the side and Bite! Leap through both Munchlax and find the real one!


One Ignacio evades...but the other one doesn't! We got him now, Houndour! Clamp down hard!

Let me guess, Arturo...another Metronome? Praying for a miracle?


I thought so.  I wonder what madness is in store this time--


Glitter? Did you Munchlax just cover my Houndour...in glitter? I mean, it can't be a powder or spore attack, since it hit Houndour directly and it hasn't even reacted to it...so what the hell even was that?

JESS:   So...that was a thing.


Oh, I didn't realize we've drawn an audience.  Hi, Jess! Watch Houndour bite into Ignacio like a chew toy.


Knockout blow.  Well done, Houndour.  We now only have to deal with Anubis, and I still have all three of my Pokemon.  Arturo, let's do this.


The proud Anubis, once again...but he isn't moving.  Why? Is he letting me get the first shot in? What does he know that I don't? Heh, no matter.  An Ember attack will be enough to seriously wound this bipedal jackal! Houndour! Use Ember now--!



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...okay.  No.  No.  Wait.  WHAT?! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?! WHAT EVEN WAS THAT?!!? YOU'RE A FIRE-TYPE AND YOU EXPLODE THE SECOND YOU USE A FIRE-TYPE ATTACK?!?! I CAN'T EVEN--


Oh god, Houndour! Look out--!


Damn...he didn't stand a chance against that Force Palm.  Houndour, return.

Houndour is out, so I've only got Elekid and Nidorino left to take out Anubis.  Nidorino knows Double Kick and Dig, sure, but Anubis would be immune to Poison Sting and resistant to Peck, so that only leaves him with two viable attacks.  Furthermore, he's nowhere near as fast as Elekid, and I don't believe he has the fortitude to take many attacks from Anubis.  I have to use Elekid.  Low Kick will probably do the most damage, and Shock Wave will consistently hit its target without resistance.  Ice Punch may not do as much damage, but Thunder Wave might very well keep Anubis from going on an offensive rampage.


Yes...it has to be Elekid.  If Elekid can't win it or at least paralyze Anubis, I don't think Nidorino can carry the weight of the battle on his shoulders.  This is going to decide it all...

Go, Elekid!


This is not going to be easy, buddy...


...I'm counting on you.

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