Monday, May 12, 2014

You Look Like Your Doll




If these three men want to have a Pokemon battle so badly, they're gonna need to step aside and wait for me to be ready for them.  I have more pressing things on my plate--


TOM:   It's not happening, boys.  I don't care how bad you want it; I'm not in the mood.  After liberating a city from two major riots and exterminated an entire hive of Beedrill, I woke up this morning at the crack of dawn to scale the highest mountain in sight to hunt down dragons, which was swiftly followed by beating down a pack of wild dogs in a burning home and expelling a malevolent spirit from the upstairs of that very same house.  I've danced on thin ice with death close to ten time in the last five days and I'm not afraid to bring you boys in on the tango.  You wanna dance, little man? I got a dance for you--!

???:   HEY! You three! Leave.

Who the hell was that with the booming voice? Was that God?

???:   Tom Cedar?

Yes, that's me...


You must be Tyre, then.  You look like your doll--



Oh, there's Jess and Kevin! Hey guys--a group phone call? Okay, call everyone you can.

Okay...looks like only Erik is picking up.  Better than nothing, I suppose.


ERIK:   Why did you order a Mimosa?

I don't like the taste of hard alcohol but I like orange juice, let's move on.

So, Tyre knows Erik.  That's right, he mentioned something along those lines when I was in the Dream World.  Hello, Erik.  It's because I like orange juice.


How am I feeling? Enlightened.  Not so much a little while ago...it was a little jarring when I first woke up.


Not a big deal? Come on! You have, like, three times more experience in that world than I do, so don't put my reaction on me.  Besides, I've lived thirty-seven years on this earth and never once was told about this Dream World, so excuse me for it being a bit of a shocker.

Kevin's right, Tyre.  Shit has been pretty weird lately with the other gym leaders, but he's doing his best to keep up communication.


So, you've been trapped in the Dream World for about a week? That must mean that the attacks were all planned before the S.S. Anne event; that was just a distraction from the smaller workings.  And I'd seriously trust Erik on this one: we are probably going to see some serious shit in Mastam.


Doc in Mastam works predominantly in communication, broadcasting and Poke Balls?! He'd be the man to see about my plans for techno-telepathy! I better make a note of that--wait, who are the other gym leaders we're looking to contact here? I know Doc is in Mastam and he's the fourth in the challenge, and I've heard that the eight in Hephasto is a bit difficult to work with, and Seraph has the world's first Dark-type Gym...but what about Minos and Dalus?

So, Minos' leader has a labyrinth and trains...Flying-types? Oh, that's going to be amazing for me...and Dalus? Poison-types...and he's sort of a dick.  Great news all around, then.  But now, that means...


...that I know the types of each of the eight gym leaders in this region! I can plan out more strategically my challenges before I even arrive at--


Erik, you think that Doc could be a suspect in these attacks? I sincerely doubt that.  I mean, we have no idea who is behind all this, but it was all orchestrated with great organization and tact.  I'm still thinking we have a team on our hands.  I mean, from the way that those trainer Pokemon attacked us in Tyre's house--


Yes, we were in your house trying to save everyone.  You'll need a new bed.  Sorry.

Your...library? Research? Well, we found a lot of scorched books about, but I dunno--

The Bed of Jirachi? What's that? Some kind of ruin?

But you think you've found it? Well, that's...great? Is your family fond of archeology?

No, but you're brother is a gym leader in Johto? Go figure.  That must mean he was on the S.S. Anne when it went berserk.  So wait, what exactly is this Bed of Jirachi?


So, Jirachi is a powerful Psychic-type Pokemon that dreams for decades and absorbs the dreams of people...and then tries to grant their wishes when it wakes up? And...this Bed of Jirachi...acts as an amplifier for the dreams? So, you think you found it, and that's why they attacked you? Well, your research was probably burned up in that house fire, and that may explain why you were attacked, but that doesn't justify the attacks on the other gym leaders in this region.  Well, we could always find Arturo and help him locate this bed if he isn't too preoccupied with trying to find his brother--


Erik, did you just say you might know where the S.S. Anne is docked--?!


You're right, the Beldum was acting strangely.  You think it was...pointing to the coast? It might very well have been Steven Stone's Beldum! We'll never be sure until we find these people who can change their appearance and get some answers out of them.  It's possible that this Beldum might have suffered identity severance from its trainer like Erik suggested was the cause of the Isis riots.

...oh, by the way, Tyre...could you tell me what T.M. this is?


Just boot it up in the case? Right...oh, Rock Smash! Okay, that makes sense now.  Thank you.


Jess is right, though.  Most teams tend to be overt in their dealings, but this is very subtle.  It's almost as if we're dealing with professional criminals.  It's like they took the elite members of Team Rocket and--

Elite.


Has anyone tried to contact the Elite Four of the Champion of this region yet?


The Elite Four are up in the Citadel Mountains away from every else down below? Isolated individuals...not exactly appropriate when they're the ones with the power to stop--

Holy shit, that could be it.  Guys...how do you get to the Elite Four? You beat the eight gym leaders, right? Well...what happens when you can't beat the gym leaders because there aren't any more gym leaders? Whoever sits up beyond Victory Road remains in control of everything related to the League below, and he who controls the League essentially controls life as we know it! And if Wallace was picked up in a helicopter by the supposed-police when the real police don't even have the resources of a helicopter, who do you think could support such an investment? Think about it: this is the inauguration of the Cythos League.  Whoever was appointed the champion has never been challenged before, and we don't even know who he or she is...but that person could have orchestrated everything from the beginning in order to secure their place of power.


Guys...I think the champion is leading a team.  It's not unheard of, really; I came from a region where the head of Team Rocket was the strongest gym leader in the region.  It could very well be that big in scale...and if it isn't, then whoever is behind this is very good at keeping us from knowing the truth.

Tyre, you spoke to one of these ponytailed people? And he...spoke as if...his speech was...pre-determined? Well, that's rather odd.  Look, if we want to get answers and check out the Bed of Jirachi, we're going to need to get into the desert...and to do that, we're gonna need bikes.


Erik's right, though.  If this bed amplifies psychic power, then we need to be careful.  Especially if we are still considering the possibility that a Psychic-type Pokemon of immense strength is behind this.  This team could want to use this bed to give amplified strength to that Pokemon...if they haven't already--


If we investigate on your behalf, Tyre, you'll give us bike vouchers? Fantastic--

But we'll need to prove that we can take the terrain...by beating your gym.  I figured as much--


Jess, you want to fight now? We're not even in the gym yet--Erik's right, I think a plan would be very good to--


WOAH! Everyone stop yelling! Jesus Christ, we all know lives are in the balance, but so are ours, so...

You know what? I'm just gonna shut up.  I'm gonna let this happen and try to stay cool.

Great...Erik's hung up, Jess stormed off, and Kevin disappeared.


Well, Tyre...


...we'll be with you soon.  Gotta do a little damage control first.


Erik, pick up.  Erik?


Hey, listen, I--yes, I know you can't stand Jess, but I'm not calling about her.  I'm calling about Tree-Buddy.  I need a way to train him and you're currently my best option for help.


Maybe you can tweak the psychic connectors in the Poke Ball? That's what I was thinking.  I got a whole shit-ton of notes on theory and I think it'll be good to share sometime.  But about Jess...you dealing with Jess is like me dealing with Josh.  We all have our obstacles and I'm gonna do what I can, but you have to try to be civil and tolerate her or we won't get anywhere as a team.  I gotta go...just think about it.


I think I'll probably take on the gym in the morning, but until then, I can use all of tonight to train my team...


And what do you know? Those cyclist douche-bags are still lurking about.


Hey you! Yeah, you...the tough guy...c'mere.

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